Mallory Grimste, LCSW - Mental Health Therapist for Teens and Young Adults

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ANXIETY STRUGGLES: Here's how to tell your teachers

So you want to be able to let your teacher know what it is that you're feeling inside,

but you don't even know how to start the conversation.

How do you talk to your school and your teachers about the anxiety you're feeling?

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Your education is important, but so is your mental health. I don't think that you should have to choose between them.

If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to know about talking to your teachers about your anxiety:

YOUR SUCCESS = THEIR SUCCESS

Remember that your teachers actually do want you to succeed. 

Many teachers get into education because they have found learning such a valuable part of their own life experience that they want to give that gift to future students

The way our educational system works here in the United States is your success as a student reflects on their success as a teacher.

So they're doubly motivated to help you succeed.

DON’T SHARE EVERYTHING

You don't have to tell them everything. In fact, I would advise against sharing too much about your mental health struggles with your teachers. 

Your teachers are there to help educate you, they're not there to be your therapist. 


They do so many things already for you, and they might not be the best-equipped person to go too deep into your emotional experience. So keep it on a need-to-know basis.

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FOCUS ON IMPACT

Talk about your mental health in terms of how your symptoms are affecting your ability to learn and access your education.

Some great times to talk with your teacher about your concerns are:

  • Ahead of time

  • While it's happening

  • Before the assignment is due

  • Before the assignment is overdue

Letting them know that this is something that you're working with your medical providers may help them be a little more understanding about why you might need an extra day or two to get an assignment in.

LEGAL PROTECTIONS

In the United States, we have the Fair Access to Public Education Act, also called F.A.P.E. 

F.A.P.E. offers legal protections to make sure that no child who is being impacted by a health condition lets that affect their access to learning. 

If you're concerned that the impact of your mental health condition is not taken seriously by your school or the public education system, you can have your parents request a meeting in writing to have them evaluate what modifications your teachers legally should be implementing to modify your work. 

The goal is not to eliminate education, but to make it easier for you to adapt learning to your experience.

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USE AN “I” PERSPECTIVE

When you do talk to your teacher, let them know what's not working from an "I" perspective, rather than a “you” perspective.

When people feel attacked, they start to get defensive and then they don't wanna help you, they wanna protect themselves. 

So instead of using this conversation as a platform to tell the teacher why they're bad at teaching and putting the ownership on them, you could say: 

“It feels really difficult to read these many chapters in one night when I'm having difficulty concentrating right now.”


When having these conversations stay open and curious to what your teacher has to say. They may suggest things that you already have tried or are trying—that’s okay. They may also suggest something that you might not have even thought of.

ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED

If you don't ask for it, the answer will always be no. If you ask for it, it may still be no, but it might be a yes. You don't know until you try.

 

KEEP TALKING!!

Whatever you do, make sure that you keep talking with them about it. These are rarely one and done conversations because circumstances change over time, as will your experience and theirs. 

Plus, the more that you talk about it, the less effort you have to put into each subsequent conversation because you'll already have this kinda shared base knowledge to start with.

Tell me….

I hope that you found this information valuable and helpful and if you did, let me know in the comments over on my YouTube channel- you can click here to go to this video.

And please be sure to share this video because you never know who you could be helping in the process.

If you want to know more about how to talk to your parents, click this link to watch a great video playlist on this very important topic.


Want even more positive influences in your teen's life? Teen Girls Therapy Group is a weekly space where your teen girl can connect with others dealing with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. By talking and learning together, they learn to feel better about the relationships they have with themselves and others.

If you want to secure your teen's spot- schedule your complimentary 15-min parent phone screening by completing the contact form here.

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.

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