⚠️ Content Warning: This video contains content related to Self Harm. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations. In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741.

Do you want to talk to your parents about your self-harm but you just don't know how?

Well, if you're ready to make a change, this video post will help you.

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to know about talking to your parents about your self-harm:

PREPARE

It can be really scary to think about talking to your parents about your self-harm because you just don't know how they could react. 

Here are some ways that you can prepare for this conversation:

• Get clear on what it is that you want to say

• Check-in with yourself- are you in a good, healthy, emotional state to have the conversation? Are they? 

You don't wanna go into a conversation like this hot or scared

Be as calm as you reasonably can be. If you need to take some time and meditate or take some deep breaths or use any of your coping strategies, now is the time to do it before you talk to them.

BE CLEAR

“Clear is kind.” ~ Brene Brown:

• Use the words “self-harm”. Don't be afraid of using those words. When you are vague and unclear about what it is that you're talking about, you actually leave it up to your parents' imagination to assume and fill in the blanks. That can lead to actually worse scenarios. 

• Help guide them in the right direction of what's actually happening for you. Don't leave it to their imaginations. Remember: Your parents likely love and care about you a lot.  They have probably already been considering the worst-case scenarios since the time you were born (or that you entered into their lives). 

We tend to fear the unknown— so once it's all out in the open, it makes it much easier to talk about with them as things progress. 

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SHOW THEM

As you talk to them about your self-harm, when it started, how it progressed, make sure that you are showing them as well. 

Show them if you have any markings or scars, what tools you use. Show them where you hide these things. 

Making new changes in your life even when they're healthy is really exhausting so having your parents on board with all the elements can be really helpful.

As you already know, just because you're sharing this with your parents now, doesn't mean that the urges go away. 

So getting it all out now will help them help you when you're feeling super emotional or exhausted like you just don't care anymore. This way, they can jump in and help out temporarily as you need them. 

BE KIND

While you have been struggling with this for a while, this may be new information for your parents- which means they might not always have the best automatic response.

Keep showing up and know that this is a process. 

Keep talking to them about it. Keep engaging. Be kind to yourself and to your parents through this. It's not a one-and-done conversation. 

It's something that happens over time. There's gonna be bumps in the road for you and for them. 

We're not looking for perfection here. We're looking for progress.

Remember: progress is usually a spiral, not linear.

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ASK FOR HELP

Use this conversation as an opportunity to ask for help. Tell your parents what works and what doesn't work. 

If you're not already working with a mental health therapist, this is the time to ask them to link you up with one. We literally specialize in this stuff!

SELF-SOOTHE

People who struggle with self-harm typically alleviate their emotions through physical sensations.

When you can take care of your physical sensations by self-soothing, you can improve and care for yourself along the way! Make sure that you're engaging in a ton of soothing self-care after having these conversations.

Tell me….

I hope that you found this information valuable and helpful and if you did, let me know in the comments over on my YouTube channel- you can click here to go to this video.

And please be sure to share this video because you never know who you could be helping in the process.

If you want to know more about how to calm your self-harm urges, click this link to watch a great video on this very important topic.

Want even more positive influences in your teen's life? Teen Growth Therapy Group is a weekly space where your teen can connect with others dealing with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. By talking and learning together, they learn to feel better about the relationships they have with themselves and others.

If you want to secure your teen's spot- schedule your complimentary 15-min parent phone screening by completing the contact form here.

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.

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