Therapy That Actually Works for You

Starting therapy can feel overwhelming. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, not knowing where to start, or even whether therapy will actually help. Maybe you've thought:

❌ I should be able to handle this on my own.
❌ Talking to someone won’t actually change anything.
❌ Therapy is too expensive, too overwhelming, or just too much.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. So many people hesitate to get support because they don’t know what to expect or fear they won’t be understood.

But here’s the truth: therapy is not about fixing you—because you’re not broken. It’s about helping you figure out what actually works for you so you can stop feeling stuck and start feeling better.

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What Therapy Should Feel Like

You know that feeling when you finally talk to someone who gets it?

😒 No weird looks.
🙄 No “just get over it” advice.
🥰 Just that moment where you feel seen—like, for once, you don’t have to explain or prove why you feel the way you do.

That’s what therapy should feel like.

A space where you can show up exactly as you are and leave feeling more in control, less alone, and actually capable of handling what’s been weighing on you.

What to Expect When You Start Therapy

If you’ve never been to therapy before, you might wonder:

• What do I even say?

• Will the therapist judge me?

• How long will it take to start feeling better?

The good news? You don’t need to have it all figured out before your first session. Your therapist is there to guide you, ask the right questions, and help you uncover what works best for you.

Want a quick breakdown of what your first therapy sessions might look like?Watch this video:

How to Afford Therapy (Even If It Feels Expensive)

One of the biggest concerns about starting therapy is cost. If that’s holding you back, it’s worth checking if your health insurance covers therapy sessions.

Many people don’t realize they can use out-of-network benefits to lower costs—sometimes even getting partial or full reimbursement.

To make this easier, I created a FREE Out of Network Benefits Guide that walks you through how to check your coverage and what to say when calling your insurance provider.

📖 Download the Guide Here

How to Get Started With Therapy

If you’re in Connecticut or New York and looking for therapy that actually fits your needs, I’d love to help.

The first step? A free parent phone screening with my team. This short call helps us figure out if a Client Assessment with me is the best next step for you.

👉 Click here to learn more about getting started with my counseling services for teens.

Is Therapy Right For Me?

Therapy doesn’t have to be scary or overwhelming. It’s not about having the perfect words or knowing exactly what to do—it’s about finding a space where you can feel supported, understood, and empowered to take steps toward feeling better.

If you’re ready to explore what therapy can look like for you, take the first step today. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💛

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🗣️ How to Talk About Your Feelings to Your Parents: 10 Therapist-Approved Communication Tips for Teens

Talking about your feelings can be tough, especially when you’re not sure where to start or how your message will be received. Whether you're trying to share something important with your parents, friends, or anyone in your life, it's essential to approach the conversation with clarity and compassion.

Here are ten therapist-approved tips to help you effectively communicate your feelings:

*PS There’s a cheatsheet with all these tips included in the Self Care Bundle.

1️⃣ Regulate Your Emotions

Before diving into a conversation about your feelings, make sure you’re in a calm and clear state of mind. Trying to talk when you’re overwhelmed can lead to miscommunication and frustration.

Try This: 🧘‍♀️ Take a few deep breaths to help center yourself.

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2️⃣ Get Clear on Your Intentions

Know what you want out of the conversation. Are you seeking advice, looking for validation, or just want to be heard?

Try This: ✍️ Write down your thoughts beforehand to figure out what you really want to say.

3️⃣ Be Gentle

When you approach someone to talk, ask for their permission first. This shows respect for their time and mental space.

Try This: 💬 Start with, “Can we talk? I have something important to share.”

4️⃣ Use an “I” Perspective

Speak from your own experience rather than telling someone else what they think or feel. This keeps the focus on your feelings and reduces defensiveness.

Try This: 🌟 Use phrases like “I notice…” or “My experience is…”

5️⃣ Start Small

Begin the conversation with small talk or light topics to ease into the more serious discussion. This helps create a comfortable atmosphere.

Try This: 🗣️ Begin with, “Can we talk about something that’s been on my mind?”

6️⃣ Plan Your Words

Think about what you want to say in advance. This helps ensure your message is clear and reduces the chance of misunderstandings.

Try This: 📝 Write down key points to discuss during your conversation.

7️⃣ Stick to the Facts

Share your feelings based on actual events or behaviors rather than assumptions. This makes your concerns more concrete and understandable.

Try This: 📅 Refer to specific instances, like “I felt upset when…”

8️⃣ Seek to Understand

After sharing your feelings, ask the other person for their perspective. This opens the door to mutual understanding and support.

Try This: 👫 Ask, “How do you feel about what I’ve just shared?”

9️⃣ Be Ready to Listen

Conversations are a two-way street. Be prepared to listen actively and without judgment.

Try This: 🎧 Give your full attention, make eye contact, and nod to show you’re engaged.

🔟 Acknowledge Their Effort

Thank the other person for listening and being there for you. Showing appreciation reinforces the positive interaction.

Try This: ❤️ End with, “Thank you for listening, it means a lot to me.”

You Ready to Improve Your Communication Skills?

These tips are just a start. The Self Care Bundle offers more ready-to-use resources, including the "10 Therapist Approved Tips for Talking About Your Feelings," to help you navigate your emotional wellness journey.

With guided meditations, video walkthroughs, and downloadable workbooks, you’ll find everything you need to support your mental health and start these conversations about your mental health with your parents.

You Can Get Started TODAY With

The Self-Care Bundle

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TL;DR?

Here’s the full list to help you start talking about your feelings with your parents:

1️⃣ Regulate Your Emotions

2️⃣ Get Clear on Your Intentions

3️⃣ Be Gentle

4️⃣ Use an “I” Perspective

5️⃣ Be Direct and Use Accurate Words

6️⃣ Be Curious

7️⃣ Validate Their Feelings

8️⃣ Embrace Silences

9️⃣ Keep Talking

🔟 Seek Professional Help

I'd love to hear how it goes, so please share your experiences with me. I’m on Instagram @MalloryGrimste.

➡️ Don't forget to explore all the digital resources included in the Self-Care Bundle today. It's a great way to support your journey to communicating with your parents more easily.
🔗 Here’s the link: https://www.mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle

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😌☀️ Find Your Inner Peace: Navigate Your Summer Blues with Simple Self-Care

We need to talk about the “other” seasonal depression… the Summer Blues.

You've probably been telling yourself you “just need to get to summer” and then you’ll start feeling happier. Just because it's sunnier and brighter, doesn’t mean your mood automatically feels that way, too.

Did you know when you are struggling with depression in the summertime, seeing other people experiencing the happiness and joy that you desperately desire can actually make you feel more isolated if you’re not taking care of yourself?

Turning your summer blues into sunny days starts with simple self-care 💝

That's why it's so important to focus on your self-care if you find yourself struggling with the summer blues. You need energy in order to enjoy the summertime, and the best way you can manage your energy is with simple self-care.

I’m talking about the boring, simple self-care that often gets overlooked because it's not as trendy and exciting as a juicy seven-step skincare routine 😶‍🌫️, or a two-hour morning hike along the lake 🏞️.

It often seems unbelievable, but the simple truth is that taking small steps to care for yourself in the simple ways I’m sharing with you can have just as much, if not more, of a positive impact on your mental health than those luxurious, time-intensive self-care events.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love a good hike around the pond with my dog as much as the next girl, but I know that's not always reasonable when the thought of getting up to brush your teeth feels like a big feat for the day.

Your Practical Self-Care Strategies for Navigating the Summer Blues

1️⃣ Establish a Routine

Our minds and bodies love when things stay the same—it's called “homeostasis” (you’re welcome to those working on your SAT prep vocabulary this summer 😉)

The more we can keep things reasonably the same, the less stress it causes for our minds and bodies, which means we have more energy to dedicate to the things we enjoy.

This is especially helpful if you're struggling with depression because one of the major symptoms that makes dealing with depression so difficult is the exhaustion and fatigue you can experience.

You can start with one or two things that you can do either every morning, evening, or just every day and commit to that.

Liz Moody, podcast host, health journalist, and author of the best-selling book “100 Ways to Change Your Life” has spoken publicly about her personal struggles with anxiety and agoraphobia. One of the things that helped her improve was starting to make a green smoothie for herself every morning. From there, she was able to take more self-care steps along the way, which led to her path to recovery from her agoraphobia.

2️⃣ Stay Active

Moving your body is a great way to get out of your depression or summer blues and towards sunnier days. When you move your body, you move your mind.

If you have the option of joining a sports team or a group activity, I love that because then you are amplifying the positive benefits of movement along with social connection.

Group sports not your thing? Try following along with a 5-minute yoga video on YouTube (I like Yoga with Bird’s and Black Yogi Nico Marie’s channels), or walking from one area of your room to another.

You could even start with something as simple as walking around the room for 30 seconds before going back to your bed. Starting anywhere will help you continue moving because, if there's one thing I learned from physics that actually stuck, it's that a body in motion stays in motion.

3️⃣ Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Finding your inner peace is much easier when you can stay aware and observe your thoughts. Guided meditations, deep breathing exercises, and other mindfulness practices like journaling, visualization, or walking can be great ways to get started.

You can follow along and practice mindfulness with me for FREE on my YouTube channel. Here are a few popular options to help you get started:

→ 5-Minute Morning Anxiety Guided Meditation for Teenagers

→ Simple LovingKindness Guided Meditation for Teenagers

→ Calm Safe Space Guided Meditation Exercise 😌💭

4️⃣ Stay Connected

You can find yourself feeling very lonely when you're dealing with the summer blues. Even though you don't want to be a burden to your friends, the truth is that if you're going through a hard time, they’ll want to be a part of the solution in helping you feel better. So, be sure to take the time to connect with your friends, whether that is in person or on the phone.

Now, we can’t talk about social connections without talking about social media. Social media can be a great way to stay connected with our friends and loved ones. 

However, if you find that scrolling through your socials and seeing other people's stories and posts makes you feel more negative about your own experience, I highly recommend taking a social media break. You get to decide how long your break lasts. This could be for an hour, a day, or a week - it’s your choice. You know what you need and what you can commit to.

If you reach the end of your social media break and decide that you'd like to continue, by all means, please do. Also, if you decide to end your social media break early, it doesn't mean that you're a failure. It's all about making mindful choices about what is best for you and your mental health. Ultimately, if your socials are not helping you stay socially connected, they're not doing the job they promised.

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5️⃣ Engage in Creative Activities

When you're feeling the summer blues, it can be hard to identify, name, or express what it is you’re feeling clearly. Expressing how you’re feeling and how you would like to feel in creative ways can be a way of acknowledging and processing our feelings so that they don't stay stuck all summer long. Here’s a starter list of creative activities you can try today:

✍️Drawing your favorite memory

📝Journaling about your feelings

🎧Playing music that makes you feel like dancing

🕺Dancing to your favorite summer songs

6️⃣ Sleep Smarter

You’re a smart cookie and work hard all school year so you deserve to spend your summer mornings sleeping in. But the problem with that is when you sleep too much, your mind and body expect that you don't need or like having energy when you're awake, and so it tends to stay fatigued and sleepy. Remember that thing about homeostasis? Your mind and body loves it when things stay the same.

As awful as this sounds, I recommend choosing a time you want to be awake by most days in the summertime, and then do your best to wake up by that time.

Sticking to a relaxing bedtime routine that doesn't involve a lot of screen time before you go to sleep can help. Making your sleeping space quiet and comfortable for sleeping will also make it easier to wake up refreshed and less stressed on those summer mornings.

You Can Get Started Today With

The Self-Care Bundle

Getting started with self-care doesn't have to be a chore. You can start with one of the tips in this article and build up from there.

If you'd like some more ready-made resources that you can start using today to navigate your summer blues, I highly recommend checking out the Self-Care Bundle.

The Self-Care Bundle is a digital resource library filled with over 25 simple, ready-to-use, short self-care practices created by a mental health therapist (me, I’m the therapist!) that you can start in as little as five minutes.

Finding inner peace to navigate your summer blues using self-care can be super simple.

TL;DR?

Here’s the full list to help you start enjoying your summer and navigate your summer blues with simple self-care:

1️⃣ Establish a Routine

2️⃣ Stay Active

3️⃣ Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

4️⃣ Stay Connected

5️⃣ Engage in Creative Activities

6️⃣ Sleep Smarter

I'd love to hear more about your summer goals and experiences, so please share them with me. I’m on Instagram @MalloryGrimste.

➡️ Don't forget to explore all the digital resources included in the Self-Care Bundle today. It's a great way to support your journey to finding inner peace this summer (and fall, winter and spring, too).
🔗 Here’s the link: https://www.mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle

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Coping Skills Can Help You Control Your Life!!

Life as a teenager can feel like an emotional rollercoaster 🎢

You are experiencing a wide range of feelings, from happiness and excitement to stress and anxiety.

With the power of coping skills, you can handle anything life throws your way.

Keep reading to find out how… :)

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

The CDC recently released its 2021 report, which found that mental health challenges for teenagers are rising at even more alarming rates than before. While some of these challenges may be out of your control, there are ways to deal with the residual effects, and that's where coping skills come in.

Source: CDC

As a mental health therapist, I always start with coping skills with all the people I work with because if you cannot tolerate your intense emotional experiences, there's no way we're going to get to the root of deeper healing.

You need to be able to hang in there because it's going to get uncomfortable.

You're going to need good, healthy coping skills to get you through.

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Coping skills are all the things we intentionally and meaningfully do to control and manage our emotional experience so that it's not so intense and overwhelming that it's creating other problems that we have to solve.

Coping skills allow us to tolerate and feel our feelings. They help us hang in there through the intensity of an uncomfortable emotional experience so it doesn't grow into a larger issue, like panic attacks, self-harm, or even suicidal thinking.

However, coping skills are not a magical solution to your problems.

You are going to Solve the Problem.

But in order to do that, you need coping skills to get there.

Here are some common issues that teenagers face that coping skills can help with:

📚💥🏫 Academic pressure: School can be super stressful! Grades and getting into college can feel like a ton of pressure.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💬 Family conflicts and relationships: Sometimes it can be tough to talk to your family, especially your parents. But learning how to communicate with them can make a huge difference.

💻📱📲 Social media: Social media can be a lot to handle. There's so much pressure to always be online, respond to messages, and be cute about it too. Plus, dealing with bullying and digital abuse can be really tough.

To help you cope with these issues and others, I want to share with you the three secrets that I wish I had known as a teenager to manage and control my feelings. Make sure to attend the live digital hangout "Control Your Feelings Like a Therapist: 3 Secrets I Wish I Had When I Was a Teenager" next week on Friday, April 14, 2023.

*You can get all the details and RSVP here: mallorygrimste.com/live

Building healthy coping skills takes practice, but it's worth the effort. Developing coping skills can be a powerful way to take control of your life and handle the challenges you face.

🧰🔨 Build your Coping Skills toolkit with these tips:

💖 Start with what's already working for you.

Maybe you have a hobby that helps you relax or a friend you can always turn to for support. Identify the things that are already helping you cope and build on them.

🤝 Consider working with a therapist.

Therapy can help you develop new coping strategies and learn how to apply them in your life. It's not a quick fix, but it can be an incredibly valuable investment in yourself.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Talk to your friends.

You don't have to go through tough times alone. Friends can provide a listening ear, help you brainstorm solutions, or just make you laugh when you need it most.

🔍 Reflect on whether your coping strategies are actually helping or hurting you.

Be honest with yourself about what's working and what isn't. Even healthy coping skills can become harmful if they're overused or have a different effect than we intended.

🚫 Don't give up if one strategy doesn't work.

It can take about 6-8 different coping skills to get the relief you need, so keep trying and don't give up.

⏰ Coping skills don't have to take up a lot of time unless you want them to.

You can take 30 seconds to use your coping skills or 30 minutes. Every little bit helps you make a big difference in controlling your emotions.

🛠️ Remember to change what coping skills can change based on the situation.

You need to use the right tools for the job. You’d never show up to a tennis match with a hammer. The same is true for Coping Skills. In the Coping Skills Crash Course we have a whole lesson on how to select the right type of coping skills for the problem you’re facing.

📚 Coping skills are useful for everyone, not just teenagers.

The skills you learn now can help you throughout your life. Review and adjust your coping skills based on what’s working and not working.

💪 Don't forget that you already have coping skills within you.

Reflect on past experiences and draw on those skills as you face new challenges.

❤️ Don't forget to talk to your parents about your Coping Skills.

They can be a really helpful source of support and advice. Plus they can’t help if they don’t know what you’re doing to help yourself.

Building coping skills takes time and effort, but it's a valuable investment in your well-being. Don't be afraid to ask for help and keep an open mind as you explore different strategies.

If you're interested in learning more about coping skills and how they can help you control your life as a teen, I encourage you to sign up for my live digital hangout "Control Your Feelings Like a Therapist: 3 Secrets I Wish I Had When I Was a Teenager" Click here to RSVP: mallorygrimste.com/live

And if you want to dive deeper, sign up for the Coping Skills Crash Course. This is a guided self-help program I created to help busy teens like you learn and use these strategies so you can focus more on enjoying your life, rather than controlling your feelings.

Coping skills can make a big difference in your life

Take the time to find what works for you, and don't be afraid to try new things.

You Got This!

It’s happening on Friday, April 14th and you can get all the details when you click this button:

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My Journey from Stress Crier 😭 to Therapist 😌: How Self-Care and Coping Skills Changed Everything

Aren’t you tired of feeling like you're living a real-life chaotic episode of "Euphoria"?? Are you passionate and expressive, but sometimes feels like your emotions take over?? If so, this blog post is for you….

Hi 👋 - my name is Mallory Grimste, and I'm a mental health therapist.

But before I was the calm, cool, and collected therapist you see today, I was an overwhelmed, stressed out, busy overscheduled teenager who was totally emotional. My emotions would take over all the time, and the only way I experienced some major relief was through stress crying.

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

Now, crying in and of itself can be a really healthy, happy, healing, emotional experience. But stress crying doesn't really have that same sort of benefit. It tends to kind of burst at the seams, never at a convenient time, and always when it's going to be most embarrassing. Sound familiar?? 👀

But here's the good news:

I went from stress crier to finding relief in self-care and coping skills.

And I'm here to tell you that Self-Care and Coping Skills changed everything for me…

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Let's do a little time traveling back to when I was a wee little one...

Did you know that YouTube was not my first start to being on video? It's true. I got an early start in Kindergarten when I was featured in a commercial for my school, and that's because I was crying.

They happened to be filming a commercial for the school that I went to, and they were passing by and they saw through the window on the door this little kid just crying uncontrollably at one of the tables.

Now when I think about that now, it's really hysterical that I am a mental health therapist because, from a young age and all the way through elementary school, high school, college, grad school, and beyond, I was quite the stress-crier. I was often referred to as overly sensitive or emotional, or I took things too seriously or too personally. Can you relate??

Because I struggled with stress-crying so much throughout most of my early life, I just assumed that this is just who I am, and it was part of what I had to deal with.

But what served me well as a young child did not serve me so well as I grew older. I needed to figure out a way to express and feel my emotions in a way that I wasn't going to be an exploding stress crying mess all the time.

Self-Care and Coping Skills were the answer.

Once I started to prioritize my self-care in small ways and use coping skills with intention I noticed a major shift in my stress levels: I was sleeping better, thinking better, and best of all people were taking me seriously!

I wasn't struggling to stop the tears from flowing or getting into trouble saying things I'd regret later. My passion still came through, but it was the message people were hearing and responding to, not my frustration.

Some of my favorite self-care and coping skills I found most helpful include mindfulness, exercise, and journaling. These skills not only helped me cope with stress, but they also gave me a sense of control over my life, which was empowering.

I hope that by sharing my story, I can inspire and encourage others who are struggling with stress and overwhelm to take care of themselves and learn coping skills that work for them.

And that's why I'm inviting you to attend the LIVE digital hangout:

"Control Your Feelings Like a Therapist”

During this hangout I’ll be sharing 3 secrets I wish I knew when I was a teenager.

It’s happening on Friday, April 14th and you can get all the details when you click this button:

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10 Quick and Easy Self Care Ideas for Busy Teens

You have a lot going on, but it's important to remember to take care of yourself. That’s why I want to share my top 10 quick and easy self-care ideas that even the busiest of you can incorporate into your schedules.

Trust me, it's time to take care of YOU!! 💖

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

Why is self-care so important for busy teens?

Well, taking care of yourself is essential for regulating your emotions, reducing stress, and improving your overall wellbeing.

When you practice self-care, you'll have:

🔋 more energy

🧘‍♀️ better focus better

😌 feel less emotional

🤧 and even get sick less often

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Of course, I know that finding time for self-care can be tough.

That's why I've come up with some quick and easy ideas that you can fit into your schedule….

Let's dive in!!

1. Drink a glass of water at every meal:

   Staying hydrated is key to feeling your best. So, make sure you drink a glass of water with every meal.

2. Practice positive self-talk:

   Customize your phone background or set reminders with positive affirmations. You can find some in the Self-Care Bundle!

3. Connect with loved ones:

   Keep your phone contacts but also include an emoji that reminds you of your connection. It will be meaningful and special just for you.

4. Make self-care into a game:

   We have self-care bingo in the Self Care Bundle to make things more fun!!

5. Set a bedtime alarm:

   Getting enough sleep is crucial for your well-being. Set a bedtime alarm to make sure you get enough rest.

6. Take bio breaks:

   Even if you're busy, it's important to take breaks to recharge. Make sure to take care of your basic needs like eating and using the restroom.

7. Guided meditations:

   You can listen to guided meditations during your bus ride or when you're walking. We have several in the Self Care Bundle specifically designed for teens!

8. Practice mindfulness:

   Take a moment to notice and name your emotions. This practice can help you regulate your emotions and feel more centered.

9. Reframe rest:

   Rest is not lazy, or a reward. It's not a privilege. We are not built to go go go. I highly recommend the book “Rest is Resistance” and The Nap Ministry for more resources and reminders on this topic.

10. Keep track of your accomplishments:

    Write down all the awesome things you do. You're worth it!

If you're struggling to make self-care a habit,

I've already created the Self-Care Bundle for you :)

Make sure you sign up and tell a friend or talk to your coach about getting the team to sign up, too.

Remember, self-care doesn't have to be a solo sport!

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Ignoring Your Feelings is a TERRIBLE idea (find out why)

As a mental health therapist helping teens navigate these confusing and difficult years, I know how tough it can be to face your emotions and feelings. That's why we need to talk about what happens when you ignore your feelings and what you can do instead. So let's get started!!

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

Your feelings are a lot like the Upside Down from "Stranger Things" - they can be a little scary, terrifying, confusing, and difficult to navigate. But just like in the show, in order to conquer your demons, you have to face them head-on. That's why ignoring your feelings is a terrible idea.

Why is it important to notice and acknowledge your feelings?

Well, your feelings are always trying to keep you safe, guide you, and give you messages to steer you in the best direction for you. So, it's essential to tune in to what your feelings are, what impacts them, and what they're trying to tell you. Ultimately, though, you're in the driver's seat, and you get to decide if you want to continue feeling a particular way or steer your emotions in a different direction.

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There are many benefits to FEELING your feelings,

including being tuned into your inner guide or sense, developing good judgment, and making better decisions. Doing so can also lead to healthier relationships with your friends, family, loved ones, or crushes. Feeling your emotions can also lead to academic success because you're less stressed and confused all the time, and it can help you feel a lot more relaxed so that you can focus on the things that you enjoy.

But what happens when you IGNORE your feelings?

Well, it can get much worse. Think about it in terms of making a yummy sandwich. When you start to eat your sandwich and realize you're full, you can either stop eating and put it away, or you can leave it and try to ignore the fact that it's there. If you don't deal with the sandwich, it'll start to get stinky, and you may notice flies or bugs around it. Your feelings are much the same way. If you're not feeling your emotions and acknowledging them in some way, they'll get louder and more uncomfortable until you develop something like a panic attack or an angry outburst.

If you leave your feelings for too long, they can cause longer, more intense, and difficult situations or different problems for you. So, it's a terrible idea to ignore your feelings, especially for too long.

So, what can you do instead?

Coping skills are essential for dealing with intense emotional experiences. You need to find ways to manage your emotions instead of ignoring them. Some effective coping skills include talking to someone you trust, journaling, practicing mindfulness, exercising, and doing things you enjoy.

If you're struggling to develop coping skills, or you want to take your self-care to the next level, consider signing up for my Self Care Bundle or Coping Skills Crash Course programs. These programs offer practical, evidence-based strategies for managing your emotions, improving your mental health, and living your best life.

Your Feelings are Not the Problem

We all have emotions that fluctuate and change over time. The problem is the intensity of these emotional experiences and the key to dealing with that is developing healthy coping skills.

Your feelings are a crucial part of who you are, and they're always trying to keep you safe and guide you. So, don't ignore them. Instead, face them head-on and learn coping skills to manage them effectively. By doing so, you'll develop better judgment, make better decisions, and lead a happier, healthier life.

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Helpful vs. Hurtful: 5 Things to Avoid Saying to Teens with ADHD

I'm back with another edition of things I want you to stop saying to teens with mental health struggles.

This one is a viewer's request to make one of these for teens struggling with ADHD.

You already know that I like to do my best to meet your needs- it's why I create videos like this one - so ask and you shall receive! (*if it's something I can actually give you that is)

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01/05

❌ STOP SAYING:

"Just focus."

This is literally a major defining symptom of many attention deficit conditions. The ability to focus is difficult without some intentional strategies to use.

✅ START SAYING:

"What's distracting you right now?"

When you ask this question, you’re helping the person practice mindfulness so they can tune into what’s distracting them. Once they can identify the distraction, they can make a plan to cope with it, or solve the problem in some other way so they can concentrate easier moving forward.

02/05

❌ STOP SAYING:

"Stop Fidgeting!"

While their fidgeting may be irritating the hell out of you- it may actually be helping them to think and concentrate. Did you know that drawing while listening can actually help people with attention deficits to concentrate and retain information better than being asked to sit still while listening?

✅ START SAYING:

"I don't know if you realize this but tapping your pen is distracting me. Can you try holding it in your hand instead while you think?"

The person fidgeting may have no idea that it’s having an impact on your experience. Letting them know in a kind, non-accusing way, along with giving them another option to try, can help them continue to focus without continuing to annoy you. Win-Win!

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03/05

❌ STOP SAYING:

"Hurry up and stop taking so long."

Time management is one of the executive function tasks that's impacted by ADHD. They’re just living their life and doing their best to get ready or complete the task you’ve asked them to do for you. They may be taking so long because they're so tuned into the task because it’s so easy for them to get hyper-focused and forget to manage their time.

✅ START SAYING:

"You have 10 minutes before I leave."

Giving a time frame helps them realize how long a task should take to complete. It’s important to manage expectations though. What may take you 10 minutes, may take them 15 minutes, so stay flexible while holding them accountable. For a stronger impact, you may suggest they set a timer as a reminder.

04/05

❌ STOP SAYING:

"You need to clean up."

While this may seem clear to you, it’s a bit too vague for a teenager who struggles with ADHD. There are too many variables here for miscommunication to occur. Clean up themselves? Clean their room? Clean up their choices? There needs to be more context. Also- define what specifically you mean by clean. Wiping down the sink in the bathroom is technically “cleaning” but if you want them to scrub the toilet, pick up their towels and wipe down the shower, you need to define that, too.

✅ START SAYING:

"When you’re finished eating, you need to put the dishes from dinner in the dishwasher."

This is clear, concise, and actionable. There is little room for misinterpretation here. BONUS is there’s sequencing in this statement, too. You want them to put the dishes from dinner AFTER they finish eating. Not before bed, not when they wake up.

05/05

❌ STOP SAYING:

"Before you can meet your friends at the mall today, you need to take a shower, brush your teeth, fold the laundry and put it away, do your homework, call your grandmother, dust and vacuum your room, and walk the dog...."

On the flip side, this is WAY too much information to give verbally. Remember focusing and retaining information can be difficult for teens with ADHD symptoms. It’s clear, but too much for a teen with ADHD to remember while taking action on these tasks.

✅ START SAYING:

"There are a few chores I need you to do before you meet your friends at the mall. I wrote them down for you here so you can cross them off as you go."

Writing down the list can help teens with ADHD stay organized and task-focused. It’s clear and they can take it with them. If the teen with ADHD tends to lose things easily, you may want to use a whiteboard in a family gathering area like the kitchen, or a digital tracker you both have access to, like Asana.

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10 Study Habits That Are Killing Your Mental Health- Quit Now!!

It's a classic chicken vs egg scenario.

Did your bad study habits ruin your mental health or did your mental health flare up cause your bad study habits? Which came first? Honestly, does it really matter which came first if they're both here and impacting your life?

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Hello again! My name is Mallory Grimste and I'm a real mental health therapist*.

*QUICK SIDE NOTE: reading or viewing this content does not mean I am your therapist- you gotta be an active client for that. Click here if you want to learn more about counseling services with me.

I put together this list of bad study habits based on my own experience working with a ton of students who were struggling with their mental health. Plus in order to become a licensed clinical social worker (that's what LCSW stands for by the way), I was a student for many many years myself.

So if you care about your mental health, which I know you do, then you really need to quit these 10 really bad study habits like right now.

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10 REALLY BAD STUDY HABITS TO QUIT NOW

*if you care about your mental health

1. Ignoring your assignments

2. Drinking coffee late at night to stay awake longer

3. Not taking ANY breaks

4. Taking too many breaks

5. Doing it alone

6. Using Your Phone

7. Starting Without a Plan

8. Working in a Cluttered or Dirty space

9. Overthinking

10. Too Much Pressure

That’s the TL;DR version, but if you want a deeper dive into why these habits are unhealthy (along with healthy alternatives) then you should watch the full video on YouTube. In the video essay, I share some healthy ways to break these bad habits and how to build better study habits that work for you.

>> click here to watch the video essay on YouTube <<

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Never fall behind on your homework again!!

Falling behind in school is a common problem when students have mental health flare-ups. It can seem like a never-ending cycle of having to choose between prioritizing school and your mental health.

As a mental health therapist that specializes in counseling teenagers through a variety of mental health flares, I know that there’s a better way where you can choose both school AND your mental health. (WIN-WIN!!)

If you want to get caught up in school without ruining your mental health, this homework catch-up plan is the perfect way to get started!!

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PART 1: PREP

→ Get those Coping Skills ready.

This is going to be an emotional journey and you'll want to pace yourself. Coping Skills don’t necessarily solve the problem (that usually comes later) but they can help you hang in there through overwhelming or uncomfortable circumstances.

Some helpful coping skills when feeling overwhelmed can include:

• deep breathing (this can help you settle your mind and body so you can focus a bit longer)

• encouraging statements (“you’ve got this!” or “this won’t last forever” are some favorites of mine)

• wearing something that feels comfortable but puts you in work mode (try not to wear pajamas)

→ Get clear on your Ultimate Goals.

Why are you even stressing about getting caught up in school? It’s usually tied to a bigger goal. When you can get clear on what your ultimate goals are, this can help you to stay motivated to get started and get it done.

Having trouble getting clear on your goals?? Then I highly recommend you check out the Visual Your Perfect Day and Finding Your Purpose videos. They’re both included in the Self Care Bundle with other curated goodies and treats for you, including some guided workbooks.

>> Sign Up for Access to the Self Care Bundle here <<

→ Get Support

Tell your teachers that you’re struggling to get caught up. They may help you prioritize you even eliminate some assignments from your catch-up plan. If you’re having trouble getting support and helpf from your teachers, then use your guidance counselor. They help students catch up all the time and are pros at navigating difficult conversations with teachers on their student’s behalf.

While you’re at it, tell your friends, your family, your coaches- pretty much anyone who might want to support you. This helps add a layer of support and accountability. Your friends, family and teams can’t support you if they don’t even know there’s a problem you need support with. Sometimes they can add unintentional pressure if they don’t understand how overwhelmed you are.

For even extra support, get a therapist or an academic coach- heck there are even educational therapists now. They can help you with the emotional burden of getting caught up in school as well as create healthier study and homework habits moving forward so you don’t keep recreating this stressful scenario in the future.

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PART 2: FACE THE MUSIC

→ Make a list of ALL your missing assignments.

You can't get started if you don't know what you need to catch up on. I highly recommend making your own list, and not an automated list that your school provides. While Google classroom, or other systems, can be great, it can also be very overwhelming to see all those missing assignments in one place while you’re getting alerts for new ones, too.

You can handwrite this (that’s my preference), or create a digital list. Whatever you choose, make sure you can easily see and cross off assignments as you complete them. That way you can see the progress you’re making as you go.

→ Stay Current.

It's a lot easier to stay caught up on your current assignments, while you're working on your backlog. Plus this will show your teachers that you are trying and interested in learning, which can go a long way come grading time.

If you try to work from the most overdue to current assignments, you’ll find yourself in a never-ending catch-up plan where the list keeps growing longer than you can keep up.

When you stay current, these assignments are often easier to complete because they are still fresh in mind, and you’ll build momentum to keep going on those overdue and missing assignments.

→ Prioritize Your List

After you’ve completed your current work, choose 1-3 missing assignments to focus on next. This can feel much more manageable than looking at the full list of missing assignments. Plus, if you finish these and still have energy, you can always work on more assignments from the list to get even more done.

You can prioritize your assignments based on a variety of different factors such as:

• your energy and the level of effort needed to complete that assignment

• level of importance

• due date

• easiest

• most difficult

• alphabetical

• random pick

Whatever you decide, stay flexible and kind with yourself. You may think one assignment will take less time than it does, or find you need more information to fully complete a missing assignment. It’s OK to adjust your priorities as you go.

PART 3: DO THE WORK

→ Declutter + Clean Your Workspace

Taking the time to declutter and clean your workspace will help you stay clear-minded and focused on your assignments.

It’s important not to use this as an avoidance/procrastination strategy.

While it would be great to completely deep clean your room, that might not be necessary to get started. Just taking 5-10 minutes to declutter and clear your workspace should be enough to jumpstart your homework catch-up session.

→ Set a Timer + Start

There’s a time management principle that a task will take however long you give it. So if you say you’ll work on a paper all weekend, it will likely take you all weekend to complete that paper. Though if you tell yourself you only have Saturday morning to complete that paper because you have plans Saturday night, you’ll likely get it done on Saturday morning.

Setting a timer also allows you to stay focused on a task without having to constantly check the time. You can know that the timer will let you know how much time has passed.

I personally love to use the Pomodoro technique where you set a timer to focus on one task or assignment for 25-minutes, then take a 5-minute break, before starting the next 25-minute focusing round, and repeat.

→ Self-Care Maintenance

It can be easy to get caught in the burn bright, then burn out cycle if you stay too focused on catching up. This can actually exacerbate the problems that led to you needing to catch up in school in the first place. The best way to make sure you break this cycle is by maintaining your basic self-care.

Some main areas to make sure you’re maintaining your self-care are:

• Sleep (are you getting enough sleep or are you oversleeping/over-relying on naps?)

• Taking your medication as prescribed (if you aren’t or find yourself relying on alcohol or other substances, make sure your primary care provider and prescriber know)

• Restorative Rest (yes, we need downtime to recharge)

• One Thing (focusing on changing/adjusting one thing at time; stop trying to multitask)

• Nutrition (make sure you are eating throughout the day and take note if certain foods or beverages are impacting your ability to concentrate, stay away, or focus)

• Get Moving (take time to stretch, walk, or move your body- even dancing can help)

A super fun, easy way to stay on top of this basic self-care maintenance is with Self Care BINGO for Teens. These cards are included in the Self-Care Bundle.

>> Click here to access the Self-Care Bundle now <<

And of course, stay kind to yourself. Catching up in school can be quite a challenge! It likely took longer than one day or one weekend to fall behind, so stay gentle that it may take more than a weekend to catch up. YOU GOT THIS ROCKSTAR!!

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