Surviving high school isn't like the shows + movies you've seen...

I'm looking at you High School Musical + every John Hughes movie ever!! 🤨

High school ends for everyone (hopefully successfully with a diploma).

As someone who was once a teenager (not so long ago) and works with teenagers every day- I know the truth about what it takes to survive high school.

Don't believe these lies and you'll be surviving high school in no time (you may even enjoy it 😬)

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Lie #1: these are the most important years of your life.

I have been told over and over again by several different parents and teens that I work with that they've been told, "This is the most important year of your life," going as young as third grade.

I'm pretty sure that colleges are not interested in going back to your third-grade experience unless you happen to mention it or you're some remarkable genius.

So the fact is that not every year can be the most important year. That's just ridiculous.

The Truth: this is one chapter of your life

High school is important. The things that you do and how you behave in high school do matter. They have an impact on your future and others in your world but it's not to say that you can never change the story or change the script in some sort of way.

If you find yourself in the same rut or recreating the same story or chapter over and over again, that's where meeting with a therapist can be really helpful in helping you shift gears or have a plot twist in a positive direction.

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Lie #2: teachers always know best

Sometimes teachers get it wrong. I've had the experience where I was quizzing somebody once on multiplication tables. And I mean, it's been a while since I've had to do those, but I know the basics, right?

They asked me to quiz them. And so I said, "Okay, what is eight times four?" And they said the correct answer, 32. But in my brain, I was like, "No, that's wrong, it's 28. And so I said, "False- wrong." And they were like, "No, Mallory, you're wrong." I had to pull out a calculator and realize I was wrong.

Teachers can be wrong.

The Truth: teachers are human

Teachers are not supposed to know everything just like you are not supposed to know everything. Sometimes they make mistakes.

Now, this is not license or encouragement for you to go up to your teacher that you have a problem with and say, "You're wrong." Please do that. That is not helpful or effective.

There are other ways to bring up to somebody that, "Hey, there might be a different or a better approach there."

We know in the therapy world that we are constantly growing and changing and evolving. And sometimes we get new information about how people work or strategies that we might try. And that's the same for your teachers too.

There was once a time where we used to teach people that the earth was flat and it's not. We've learned that it is round or roundish. It's definitely not flat though.

Just remember that even though your teachers are very smart and intelligent, they are still human and we are all learning together.

Lie #3: being popular means that you have no problems

For some reason, we have this idea that if people like us and everybody likes us that that means that everybody will listen to us, they will respect us and they will take us seriously. But that's not true.

The thing is, is that a lot of people and especially in high school, tend to confuse the idea of being popular with being powerful.

When it comes to people who you consider to be popular, usually people are a little afraid of them. They can be either very assertive, like their opinion really matters to them, or they might be a little aggressive.

So you might wanna check in on, do I actually like this person and respect them or am I afraid of them or upset with them in some sort of way? 

The Truth: everybody hurts

It doesn't matter if you're popular. It doesn't matter if you're smart. It doesn't matter if you've got a good heart.

Everybody hurts at some point in time and that's okay.

That's actually really healthy. We don't necessarily want you to be hurting all the time or keep it from living your life or enjoying your life.

It's important to experience hurt and pain sometimes because it makes us empathetic and understanding towards others. It's actually a little bit of a superpower when you think about it.

When we remember that everybody hurts, it can help us be a little more compassionate towards others and towards ourselves too.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT BULLIES…

Lie #4: ignore bullies and they'll stop

This is not an effective approach when you're a teenager.

We know that hurt people, hurt other people. If somebody is hurting and they are bullying somebody else ignoring them is probably just gonna make the situation worse because they're going to think, "I haven't gotten the response that I wanted so let me keep trying at this."

The Truth: ignoring bullies gives them more power

They are going to keep doing this with you because they think, "Ooh, they're an easy target. I can just like offload onto them and just move on to the next person." And that's not healthy.

Again, we just wanna remember that when it comes to bullying, ignoring is not gonna solve the problem. If anything, it's just gonna potentially maybe move directions to another person so you're really just kind of spreading the hate.

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Something that's much more useful and effective is using shock and awe. So when you can confuse somebody who is bullying you, it usually stops them because you've changed the story.

A lot of times, if somebody comes up to you and they start bullying you, or what's more common, they start texting you and bullying you that way, and you react in a surprising way, it's going to confuse them.

They might think you're a little weird but it's gonna stop them.

Some common surprising ways that you might try to stop a bully by shock and awe is to say thank you or express appreciation for their guidance.

This is gonna be confusing because usually, people don't expect to be thanked when they've been a jerk to us. Plus, it's really hard to argue with somebody who expresses appreciation to us.

You yourself might be shocked by how awesome these results are.

Lie #5: making friends in high school is easy

Raise your hand if you've ever been told that making friends is so easy when you're in high school.  🙋‍♀️

❌ It is not easy to make friends in high school at all.

It might be a little bit easier to make friends of circumstance or to connect with other people because you have more opportunities and possibilities there, but it definitely doesn't make it easier.

The Truth: making friends in high school is awkward

It's gonna be awkward because you both are trying to feel each other out and see, "Does this work for me?" You're assessing and reassessing, "Is this somebody who I like that I wanna spend more time with? And are they interested in spending more time with me?"

If you're looking for more strategies on how to survive high school, I really recommend that you try out the guided meditation by clicking this link here: https://youtu.be/Rt_zAzB1gCU

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, please share it.

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