how to teach others how to treat you with respect when you're a teenager

“You teach others how to treat you”

But what does that even mean?

→ Is it setting boundaries?

→ What even are boundaries and how do you set them?

→ How can you teach other people to treat you with respect?

→ And how can you teach others to treat you with respect as a teenager!

Just because teens are young, doesn't mean they don't deserve respect.

You can have healthy relationships and healthy friendships now.

This video post will guide you through how to set healthy boundaries with others so you can get the respect you deserve from others, even as a teenager.

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to know about how to teach others how to treat you with respect when you’re a teenager:

STEP 1: DEFINE RESPECT

Take a few moments and think of somebody who you admire and respect.

What are some qualities or characteristics that make them a respectful person?

When you can give actual behavioral examples of what is and is not respect, it makes it easier for the other person to understand why what they're doing or saying is not respectful.

👍 It might be very respectful to shout and holler when you're at a baseball game, cheering on your favorite team.

👎 It is not respectful to be shouting and hollering when you're asking somebody to take the trash out.

See the difference there? So it's not just what the behavior is, but it's how that behavior is happening. 

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STEP 2: ACT ACCORDINGLY

When you act accordingly to what is and is not respectful, you are demonstrating to other people what you expect.

If you're not quite sure how to get there or you have trouble with this yourself, I got you. In my Teen Growth Therapy Groups, we actually do this activity from time to time called the Be Do Have Roadmap.

To create your own Be Do Have Roadmap, you need to first think about your ideal life or circumstances. In this situation, you're going to go back to that original example of what is and is not a respectful person.

When you think about being that kind of person, you want to make a list answering these three questions:

1. Who would you need to be?

2. What would you need to do?

3. What would you need to have?

Then follow these responses as a roadmap to get you a step closer to living the dream life as that person.

STEP 3: ASSESS + REASSESS

I know, I repeat this all the time, but it is so important.

When you take the time to assess what's working and not working- and reassess and adjust accordingly- you are now becoming flexible and adaptable in a way that aligns with being respected.

There's a difference between being loosey-goosey and flexing, just because. Based on the situation, you might change up what is respected and respectful.

Think back to the baseball game:

👍 It is totally respectful to cheer really loudly and shout encouraging statements to your baseball team.

👎 It is not considered respectful to shout to your parents.

They might interpret that as disrespectful, even if you're saying kind things.

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STEP 4: KEEP TALKING!!

You've gotta keep talking and communicating about it. These are rarely one and done conversations. We have to keep talking to make sure that circumstances haven't changed for anyone involved.

The Speak Your Truth program will teach you all the ways that you can continue talking about these things in a kind, gentle, respectful manner.

You can learn how to keep talking about hard things in a way where others will take you seriously, which isn't that what we all want?

If you found the information in this video post useful and helpful, please share it. You never know who you could be helping.

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