Want to know the 4 secrets that every teenager needs to know for healthy relationships? Look no further!
In this video post, I'm spilling the therapy tea on how to go from being bad to baddie when it comes to healthy relationships.
This is the realest info you'll need to go from unhealthy to healthy relationships with others (including the relationship with yourself!)!!
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If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to know about the 4 secrets to healthy relationships for teenagers:
SECRET #1: FOCUS ON VALUES NOT OUTCOMES
What do I mean by this? Values are the things that are most important to you that you want others to remember you by. It's the impact that you have on the different people around you.
If you're not sure what your values are or how to get clear on them, I really recommend just taking some time and reflecting on these two questions.
When you're not in the room, how do you want people to talk about you? What do you want them to say about you?
What is the impact or legacy you’d like people to remember about you?
Now, outcomes are the things that you get from the choices that you make. So an outcome of getting good grades in high school is that you have more opportunities and choices in what college you’d attend. Though we know that this is not always a guarantee.
The main difference between living by outcomes versus values is that outcomes are not entirely in your control.
There are other factors, circumstances, and sometimes other people, who are making these decisions. This means that you could do everything right, you can check all the boxes, but that doesn't mean that that's the outcome that you're gonna get from that situation.
You can start to feel really defeated and maybe even depressed about your self-worth if you keep trying to do things to get the outcome of a relationship, rather than focusing on just living a life that you feel good about.
When you align your choices to your values you will actually attract the types of people and relationships who not only get that, they’ll respect you, and you’ll vibe together much better.
Don't make your values based on outcomes, instead, make them on what aligns with what feels good for you.
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SECRET #2: ASSESS + REASSESS
Relationships grow and change over time. And that's a good thing.
But you gotta keep in mind that the people who got you to where you are today may not be the same people that get you where you need to be. And that's okay. It can feel really personal, but it's really not.
Some areas that are good and healthy to assess and reassess in relationships are:
👍 TRUSTWORTHINESS Does this person's actions match what they say? And vice versa.
🥰 HOW YOU MAKE EACH OTHER FEEL Does that jive with your values? If it does awesome, keep doin' what you're doin'. If it doesn't, it might be a time to have a conversation and communicate what it is that you need.
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SECRET #3: YOU TEACH OTHERS HOW TO TREAT YOU!!
The longest relationship that you're ever gonna have in your lifetime is the relationship you have with yourself.
So if you're not treating yourself well, how will other people know how to treat you well, too?
Now, treating yourself well isn't always exciting. In fact, it can be really monotonous and routine, which is why I created Self Care BINGO for Teens as a fun way to keep on top of this.
SECRET #4: LETTING GO IS HARD!
I get questions and feedback all the time in the comments about how you might realize that you might have to move on or let go of a friendship, but it's really hard.
And that's the truth, letting go IS hard! It's meant to be.
You obviously didn't start a relationship with this person if you didn't find some value in them.
Whenever there's a change or loss in a friendship or relationship, it can feel really sad. Any sort of loss is a grieving process.
Grief is normal and it's not meant to feel good.
Just because it doesn't feel good doesn't mean that you're a bad person or you made a bad choice. It means that you actually recognize and care about the impact your choices have on others.
Tell me….
What information did you find most valuable and helpful? Let me know in the comments over on my YouTube channel- you can click here to go to this video.
And please be sure to share this video because you never know who you could be helping in the process.
If you want to know more about how to stand up for yourself, click this link to watch a great video on this very important topic.
IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.
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