Mallory Grimste, LCSW - Mental Health Therapist for Teens and Young Adults

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Lies You Hear About Group Therapy

There is a lot of fear and confusion around group therapy and therapy in general.

There's a huge stigma still around mental health, and while it is getting better, we're still struggling with some of these myths and misconceptions that keep floating around out there…

I hear a ton of lies about group therapy, and I'm here to set the record straight.

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These are the Top 5 Lies about Group Therapy:

Lie #1 Judgment

This is a very common fear and misconception. And the truth is, is that there probably is going to be some judgment. Group therapy is not a 100% judgment-free zone. I don't know when judgment got such a bad rap, but it can actually be a really positive thing.

Just because you have an automatic negative judgment does not mean that you have to stick with it. You have a choice in whether or not you choose to believe that or if you wanna investigate and stay curious.

That's one of the things that you'll learn in group therapy on how to stay open and curious, not only to other people's experience and perceptions, but our own, too.

Lie #2 Secrets

Group therapy is not about secret keeping. There is a strong difference between maintaining somebody's privacy and confidentiality and keeping secrets. Secrets are this idea that we have to keep something hidden and there tends to be a lot of shame or embarrassment around those particular scenarios.

One of the key components of any good group therapy experience is that not only is the therapist bound by confidentiality, all of the group members agree to keep each other's privacy and confidentiality sacred.

So it's kind of the Vegas rule, like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens in group therapy stays in group therapy unless that person has given you explicit permission to share that information.

In group counseling, much like individual counseling, your learning and growing comes from your own personal perspective of what your experience is within the room. It doesn't make sense to focus on each other's business and spreading that outside of the therapy room. Plus if you are showing up and participating in group therapy yourself, you're trusting that your fellow group members are not gonna do that, too. So why would they do that to you?

Lie #3 Age Matters

One of the lies that I hear a lot about group therapy is that if the other group members are not the same age as you, they won't understand or be able to help you. That's just not true.

I purposely have my group set up so that it's not necessarily age-specific, but developmentally specific. It's for middle schoolers and high schoolers, and I do that on purpose because even if somebody may be chronologically at a different age than somebody else, that doesn't mean that they can't learn and grow from each other. By doing so, they're actually building their own self-confidence and skills in being able to express themselves in healthy and effective ways.

I actually think it's unrealistic to expect that just because somebody is your exact age that they have the same experience as you anyway. As you grow older, you will become friends with and work with people of all ages and all different life paths. So learning from an early age how to navigate those differences and learn from each other and stay open to learning from each other is key.

Lie #4 Advice-Giving

When I first meet somebody who's interested in being considered for a spot in one of my Teen Girl Therapy Groups, one of the first questions I always ask them is, what are you most hoping to get from group therapy?

Often, I get this response: “I wanna get advice from other kids in my situation.” And while I fully support that concept, group therapy actually isn't about advice giving.

Therapy is the process of helping you learn how to recognize and listen to your own inner wisdom.

We call this your intuition, your inner guide, whatever you wanna call it. It's being able to learn from ourselves and feel good about it.

While you will learn from other people's perspectives within a group therapy experience, it's not so much about advice giving than it is about considering and learning about other possibilities and then taking all of that information in for yourself and seeing if it's a good fit for you.

Lie #5 Parents Get to Know Everything

So because I work with the under-18 crowd, one of the biggest lies that I hear is that I'm going to tell your parents everything that you say in therapy. A lot of people have that same misconception when it comes to group therapy. And here's the thing: As somebody who's under 18, your parents do have some say and input in your therapy experience.

Ultimately, if you are the client or the group member yourself, this is your therapy and your treatment and you get to decide who knows what.

The only exceptions to that are under the safety mandated reporting categories. As of right now, as a licensed Connecticut mental health professional, I am obligated when I hear or suspect anything related to harming yourself or somebody else, whether that involves you directly or you hear about information affecting somebody else, to notify the appropriate parties. That's because safety is of the utmost priority here. Now, as somebody who is under 18, sometimes, that does mean cluing in your parents.

Most mental health professionals operate similar to the way that I do where they'll include you in the discussion of how do we break the news, and what are we gonna do about it because just reporting the information doesn't solve the problem.

Tell me….

Were you surprised by any of these lies? Heard any other lies about Group Therapy that I need to address? Make sure you let us know in the comments. Let’s #breakthestigma together!


Want even more positive influences in your teen's life? Teen Girls Therapy Group is a weekly space where your teen girl can connect with others dealing with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. By talking and learning together, they learn to feel better about the relationships they have with themselves and others.

If you want to secure your teen's spot- complete your complimentary 15-min parent phone screening at 203-228-8971 or completing the contact form here.

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