Can people Stop Self Harm for good?

⚠️Content Warning: This video post contains content related to Self Harm. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations. In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741. For a list of crisis numbers by country, click here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2802245?hl=en&ref_topic=9386941

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1. TAKE NOTICE

→ Notice your thoughts

→ Notice your feelings

→ Notice your behaviors

→ Notice your environment

When you can notice these four areas, you can start to notice and recognize patterns that impact your mood and your responses to your mood.

 

A really great example of this is when you look in the mirror and you happen to notice a zit, which is very common for teenagers and beyond. I get them too.

If when you notice that zit, your automatic thinking response is, "oh my gosh, I'm so ugly, this needs to get off my face right now." it could cause a level of intensity or urge that you have to do something to relieve that discomfort right away. Which could leave you prone or open to a self harm behavior.

So instead, if you know that that is a common thought response that you have that's automatic, you can catch it because you've already noticed this pattern and you can say, "wait a minute, this zit will heal on its own. I have gone to the doctor and gotten cream, I've washed my face, I know that these don't last forever," whatever it is.

 

Talking more kindly and positively to yourself to reverse the things that you are noticing if they are leading to problematic urges, thoughts, or actions.

2. DELAY WITH DISTRACTION

We know that our feelings and our thoughts, and even our emotional responses change over time, usually with not much effort.

We can totally put in the effort and action to help coax it along in the direction that we want it to go in, but it's gonna change, it always does.

If you can delay that initial automatic impulse to act on the urge, you're already ahead of the game.

Some ways that you can do this is to pop on a Netflix series or a movie that you've been wanting to watch, or even watching a playlist on YouTube, because it tends to auto-play to the next video in that series. And that can really help you delay working on the action because you're so engaged in whatever it is that you're watching.

❌Do not use this if you're avoiding your homework though, please.

✅If you're using this distraction skill, I really encourage you to also use a timer.

That way, you're not like going through the whole day like this, and when that timer is up, you're checking in and saying like, okay, has anything changed or been different, is it positive or negative, is it the direction that I want it to move in, or do I need to do something else to shift gears?

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3. CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Actually getting up and moving to a different seat or going to a different room or location. When we are in our room all day, that can be really overstimulating or it can just kinda keep us in a funk or a bummer mood.

So, try coming out of your room and spending some time in the family kitchen or the dining area or the living room, something like that. Be around other people.

Clearing and changing your physical environment can actually help clear and change your thinking as well.

→ You can take some time to actually fold and put away your laundry.

→ You can declutter or organize an area of your room or your bag.

There's a reason why a lot of those home organizing and cleaning shows tend to ask the people that they're helping about their emotional experiences, 'cause oftentimes it comes out in the room. 

4. BUDDY UP

Calling on a friend or a loved one or someone else that is supportive to help buddy up can be really helpful when you're looking to stop self-harm.

That's because, oftentimes, people who self-harm tend to feel really isolated and alone, or they're around other people who kind of encourage this harmful behavior.

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Changing up who's in your circle and who else can be supportive can be really useful and helpful.

I love running my Teen Growth Therapy Groups for this very reason.

We tend to have a lot of people in the groups who have struggled with self-harm or know others in their world who have struggled with self-harm.

So they get it from a different experience than somebody who's only known about it from TV and movies and books, or maybe that one weird health class that your gym teacher like spent a good like 10 minutes talking about it. I have such issues with that, but... they mean well.

If you're continuing to struggle, even with a buddy in the process, I really encourage you to link up with a mental health therapist who is trained and specialized to deal with these concerns and issues.

5. STAY KIND

This healing process is really hard, it's really exhausting. Whenever you're trying to make a healthy or positive change, it still is a change.

So it's gonna take time, it's gonna take energy, it's gonna take effort, and sometimes, it might even take a financial investment to get the help and support that you need.

Remember that every step and move that you make is one more building block into that house that you're building for yourself. It doesn't mean that that one piece or that one brick or that one wall isn't enough. It's just part of the process.

One of the ways that you can start to be kind to yourself is by engaging in LovingKindness meditation. I actually have one that you can check out when you click the link right over here: → https://youtu.be/36LaRhCIm6g

We're trying Mindfulness Mondays this month.

So please let me know if you like this and if you'd like to see it continue.

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, please share it because you never knew who YOU could be helping.

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IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.

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