Talking about your feelings can be tough, especially when you’re not sure where to start or how your message will be received. Whether you're trying to share something important with your parents, friends, or anyone in your life, it's essential to approach the conversation with clarity and compassion.
Here are ten therapist-approved tips to help you effectively communicate your feelings:
*PS There’s a cheatsheet with all these tips included in the Self Care Bundle.
1️⃣ Regulate Your Emotions
Before diving into a conversation about your feelings, make sure you’re in a calm and clear state of mind. Trying to talk when you’re overwhelmed can lead to miscommunication and frustration.
Try This: 🧘♀️ Take a few deep breaths to help center yourself.
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2️⃣ Get Clear on Your Intentions
Know what you want out of the conversation. Are you seeking advice, looking for validation, or just want to be heard?
Try This: ✍️ Write down your thoughts beforehand to figure out what you really want to say.
3️⃣ Be Gentle
When you approach someone to talk, ask for their permission first. This shows respect for their time and mental space.
Try This: 💬 Start with, “Can we talk? I have something important to share.”
4️⃣ Use an “I” Perspective
Speak from your own experience rather than telling someone else what they think or feel. This keeps the focus on your feelings and reduces defensiveness.
Try This: 🌟 Use phrases like “I notice…” or “My experience is…”
5️⃣ Start Small
Begin the conversation with small talk or light topics to ease into the more serious discussion. This helps create a comfortable atmosphere.
Try This: 🗣️ Begin with, “Can we talk about something that’s been on my mind?”
6️⃣ Plan Your Words
Think about what you want to say in advance. This helps ensure your message is clear and reduces the chance of misunderstandings.
Try This: 📝 Write down key points to discuss during your conversation.
7️⃣ Stick to the Facts
Share your feelings based on actual events or behaviors rather than assumptions. This makes your concerns more concrete and understandable.
Try This: 📅 Refer to specific instances, like “I felt upset when…”
8️⃣ Seek to Understand
After sharing your feelings, ask the other person for their perspective. This opens the door to mutual understanding and support.
Try This: 👫 Ask, “How do you feel about what I’ve just shared?”
9️⃣ Be Ready to Listen
Conversations are a two-way street. Be prepared to listen actively and without judgment.
Try This: 🎧 Give your full attention, make eye contact, and nod to show you’re engaged.
🔟 Acknowledge Their Effort
Thank the other person for listening and being there for you. Showing appreciation reinforces the positive interaction.
Try This: ❤️ End with, “Thank you for listening, it means a lot to me.”
You Ready to Improve Your Communication Skills?
These tips are just a start. The Self Care Bundle offers more ready-to-use resources, including the "10 Therapist Approved Tips for Talking About Your Feelings," to help you navigate your emotional wellness journey.
With guided meditations, video walkthroughs, and downloadable workbooks, you’ll find everything you need to support your mental health and start these conversations about your mental health with your parents.
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The Self-Care Bundle
TL;DR?
Here’s the full list to help you start talking about your feelings with your parents:
1️⃣ Regulate Your Emotions
2️⃣ Get Clear on Your Intentions
3️⃣ Be Gentle
4️⃣ Use an “I” Perspective
5️⃣ Be Direct and Use Accurate Words
6️⃣ Be Curious
7️⃣ Validate Their Feelings
8️⃣ Embrace Silences
9️⃣ Keep Talking
🔟 Seek Professional Help
I'd love to hear how it goes, so please share your experiences with me. I’m on Instagram @MalloryGrimste.
➡️ Don't forget to explore all the digital resources included in the Self-Care Bundle today. It's a great way to support your journey to communicating with your parents more easily.
🔗 Here’s the link: https://www.mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle
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