How to Handle Consistent Suicidal Thoughts using a Coping Ahead Plan

⚠️ Content Warning: This video contains content related to mental health help for Suicidal Thoughts. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations.

In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741. For a list of crisis numbers by country, click here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2802245?hl=en&ref_topic=9386941

The journey to healing consistent suicidal thoughts doesn't mean they magically disappear and go away.

You know the warning signs- now you need a plan for how to handle consistent suicidal thoughts.

That's where creating a Coping Ahead Plan comes in.

In this video, we're going to walk through how you can create your own personalized Coping Ahead Plan to use while you're getting the mental health help you deserve.

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PS- I am INCREDIBLY proud of you for taking this step to help your's or a loved one's mental self-care + wellness. YOU ROCK!!

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Life is tough but so are you!

When it comes to knowing how to handle consistent suicidal thoughts, the struggle is real. It is happening more and more, and I'm here to help you through that by creating a Coping Ahead Plan.

So what the heck is a Coping Ahead Plan?

A Coping Ahead Plan is your personalized strategy for planning for and coping with any upcoming or potential stressors that could be coming up for you. Now, this could be going on a date, it could be taking a test, it could be graduation, really anything that might be stressful for you.

How does a Coping Ahead Plan work?

The best way is to create it before a situation happens and to have all those tools handy. This is something that's going to be a living, workable, breathable document, which means that you're going to assess and reassess what's working and not working along the way. And you might have to change it up based on different circumstances.

So for example, if one of your main stress relievers is shooting some hoops, that's awesome I'm all for that, but you probably can't do that in the middle of a math test. Making sure that you have some variation in this plan is gonna be really important for you.

We're gonna go through the whole Coping Ahead Plan in this video post today. If you'd like to follow along, you can get your own free guided workbook when you sign up for the Self Care Bundle.

This plan is meant to go in order, but if you are actively struggling with suicidal thoughts or urges or it's so intense that you just need immediate relief right now, stop now and call a crisis line, call 911, or proceed to your local emergency department. You're probably beyond a Coping Ahead Plan at that point.

Alright, let's hop into it:

STEP 1: Identify Your Stressors

Stressors are any potential anticipated upcoming things that you know could lead to an uncomfortable or intense emotional urge, thought, or experience.

So for me, one thing that I know is a pretty constant stressor if I don't keep up on it is I need to be well fed throughout the day. Pne of the things that I do is I make sure to have snacks handy, and I actually have a mini-fridge in my office so that I can always keep my lunch there. Otherwise, I'd turn into a total monster and nobody wants to be around me.

Your stressors might be a little bit different.

→ Maybe it's knowing that you have a lot of fun events coming up and you just don't know when you'll have time to just chill and relax.

→ Or you happen to know that there are three really big school projects coming up.

→ Some other things that might be stressful are running late somewhere, so creating some buffer time would be really helpful.

And if you don't know your stressors, that's quite all right. You can figure it out as you go along.

After the fact, if you're like, huh, what set that off? Just think back a little bit and you can add it to your plan later.

STEP 2: Use Your Coping Skills

So y'all know I love my coping skills, I think they're amazing, but coping skills really only take you so far.

Coping skills really meant to help you hang in there through the intensity of that experience.

They might not necessarily make the situation different or better, but they will help you stay in control.

I have a huge library of videos on YouTube, all about some of my favorite coping strategies that you can definitely check out some of those when you hit subscribe and see what works best for you.

There are typically four main categories of coping skills that I like to go over:

• Distraction skills

• Improving the moment skills

• Self-soothing skills

• and Crisis Survival skills

You’ll wanna personalize it based on the situation that you're needing to cope with and what would make the most sense for you. Within those categories, there's a ton of variation.

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I typically recommend having at least a minimum of six to eight coping strategies to pull from at any point and mix it up, pull from a few different categories.

So the reason why I recommend six to eight is when I was learning and being trained on how to be a therapist, I did consultation at the group home that I worked with and the guys drilled into us that it takes six to eight coping strategies to match the same relief you get from a problem behavior or experience. I wish I knew the research to back it up, but that's the source and it's worked well for my clients so I hope it works well for you.

Just remember, it might take more than one. So if somebody is telling you like, "Oh, take a deep breath." That feels awesome, that's great therapists we love deep breathing, but you probably are gonna need more than just a few deep breaths, if you're dealing with consistent suicidal thoughts, I'm just saying…

STEP 3: Talk to a Safe, Responsible Adult

If you have used your coping strategies and you're still struggling with those suicidal thoughts, then I really recommend that you move on to step number three and that is talking to a safe, responsible adult.

While friends and siblings and other people in your world might be super awesome resources, the reason why I really recommend relying on a safe, supportive, responsible adult is that as a fellow teenager, they might be going through their own struggles and figuring things out and they might not know what their capacity is for helping yet.

Adults for the most part, not every adult but most adults, typically know where their stopping point is, and if they're not able to help, they're usually a good resource for who could be a good help at that point.

Some potential safe, responsible adults you might wanna include on your plan might be a parent, a grandparent, a family member, a teacher, a neighbor, the list goes on and on.

I really recommend including their name and their contact information, whether that's their phone number, social media handle, whatever is the primary form of contact.

Before you put it on a plan, you wanna make sure that you get their permission and have a conversation with them first.

So I would really recommend starting off with letting them know how grateful you are for their support already and asking if they would be willing to be a resource for you in these times. That way, if they get a random call from you and they're like, huh, that's weird, they're less likely to ignore it in your time of need and make a point of getting back to you pretty quickly if they're not able to answer your call right then and there.

STEP 4: Talk to Your Mental Health Providers

You know your stressors, you have your coping strategies, you've tried them out. Maybe you have talked to a safe, supportive adult, or maybe they weren't available and you're still struggling with this. The next thing to do would be to reach out to your current mental health providers.

If you are already working with a licensed mental health therapist or a psychiatrist, or even your pediatrician, these are all great people to reach out to.

Just check in with them about what is their policy for receiving these sorts of calls after hours.

For the kids who work with me, I let them know that I do my best to return their calls or emails, or texts as soon as I'm able to. But I also like to remind them that I am a very heavy sleeper. So if they're reaching out to me in the middle of the night, I'm probably not going to get that until the morning. But when I do, I will reach back out to them and we'll make a plan together about what to do next.

STEP 5: Contact Your Local Crisis Line

If you've tried that or you're still struggling, or you're not able to get in contact with somebody, the next thing would be to call your local crisis number.

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In the United States and Canada, you can text 741-741 any time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week to reach the crisis text line.

Now you might be thinking like, "Hold on Mallory, I don't wanna call a crisis number "'cause they're gonna send me the hospital."

I'm here to tell you that most people who are trained as crisis line operators are highly motivated not to send you to the hospital unless you need it.

The whole point of having a crisis line is so that you can get support right here right now without having to go to an emergency department for help.

Now, if it's looking like that is what you need, they will do everything in their power to make that happen too.

STEP 6: Call 911 or Proceed to Your Local Emergency Department

If you have tried all of these strategies, you have identified and named your stressors. You have used at least six to eight coping skills, you have talked to or attempted to talk to a safe, responsible adult. You have talked to or attempted to talk to your mental health treatment team providers, you have called and talked to somebody at your local crisis line and you are still struggling with consistent suicidal thoughts, it's probably time to go to the emergency department to make sure that they can get you some immediate help and relief.

The journey to handling consistent suicidal thoughts and healing is not something that can be done alone, which is why it's really important to figure out how you can talk to your parents about this. If that's something that you're struggling with, you definitely want to check out the video right over here:

Here's how to tell your parents you want to die (+ Get Help!) https://youtu.be/HC4gnTKAzqk

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IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.

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