Talking about depression is not easy, especially when it comes to your parents.
But the thing is, if your parents don't know that you have depression, they can't help get you help.
This video post will walk you through how to talk to your parents about the fact that you may have depression and that you wanna get help.
If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:
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If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to know about talking to your parents about feeling depressed:
WRITE IT OUT
Before you even talk to your parents about your suspicions that you have depression, I want you to get clear on what it is that you want to say. So the very first step that I would recommend is to journal or write a letter about what it is that you're wanting to tell your parents.
Getting clear on what you want to say and what the hopeful outcome of this letter is will help keep you on track and focused. It will also help prepare you if there's any potential negative or bad reactions.
PREPARE FOR BAD REACTIONS
When it comes to emotional issues or emotional conversations, people don't always respond logically or rationally. This may not be news to you that you've been suffering from depressed feelings and moods, but it may be new information to your parents, which means that they may react very anxiously, or out of fear. Their reactions may even look like anger.
I'd like to take a moment to remind you that anger is typically a protective emotion, which means that when people express anger, it's really because there's something about the situation that means that they care a lot about it.
Is anger useful or helpful in this situation? Probably not, but that's where your parents may be at, at this time.
GET SUPPORT FROM OTHERS
A really helpful step that I really encourage teens to take when they're talking to their parents about this stuff is to tell a friend or a supportive adult. This could be a trusted sibling. It could be a teacher or a coach, somebody who you know has your best interests at heart.
And if you're not sure if they have your best interests at heart, I really recommend that you check out the videos that I made all about dealing with toxic relationships and toxic friendships for teens: You can click here to check that playlist.
Being able to practice and talk it out with them can help you prepare for potential reactions that you may not have been expecting or thinking about. They may even be able to come with you to the conversation so that if you start to feel overwhelmed or nervous or just can't articulate clearly what it is that you're trying to say, they can help reframe or guide the conversation in the direction that you're looking to have it go in.
HELP THEM UNDERSTAND
Now here is the key ingredient to telling your parents that you think you may have depression, and that is helping them understand why it is that you think this.
There's a few different ways that I really recommend that people go about this…
STAY CURIOUS
Please do not assume. When we assume, you make a *** out of you and me, plus you may be taking the conversation off track in a direction that it was never meant to go in. Instead of assuming, stay curious. Ask questions, seek understanding, provide information to their questions.
SPEAK FROM AN “I” PERSPECTIVE
Speaking from an I perspective means you’re speaking from your own personal experiences, at that time or moment.
This will help make it so that your parents can understand what your experience is.
ASK FOR HELP
One of the key factors in overcoming depression is connecting with others socially, and one of the ways that you can do that is by asking for help. So when you include your parents in the discussion, not only are you letting them know what's happening, you're also helping yourself by expanding your circle of support.
So make sure that you take a moment here and ask for help. Tell your parents what it is that you need from them, and if you don't know, let them know that, too.
You don't have to have all the answers. You're not expected to have all the answers right now, and you can totally share with them that this is really confusing for you as well.
Asking them to make an appointment with a therapist is a great idea because we literally specialize in this stuff. We're here to help you.
KEEP TALKING!!
And remember, this is not a one and done conversation. This is an ongoing conversation, which means that as you learn more information about what works and doesn't work for you and your parents, you guys can continue talking about it.
Tell me….
I hope that you found this information valuable and helpful and if you did, let me know in the comments over on my YouTube channel- you can click here to go to this video.
And please be sure to share this video because you never know who you could be helping in the process.
If you want to know more about how to tell your parents you want to see a teen therapist, click this link to watch a great video on this very important topic.
Want even more positive influences in your teen's life? Teen Girls Therapy Group is a weekly space where your teen girl can connect with others dealing with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. By talking and learning together, they learn to feel better about the relationships they have with themselves and others.
If you want to secure your teen's spot- schedule your complimentary 15-min parent phone screening by completing the contact form here.
IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.
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