If you're like most teens, you probably cringe at the thought of your parents asking you how is your day today?
I mean, how different could your day be from yesterday?
But what if I told you that talking about your feelings with them could actually help get them off your back? 🤔
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When you’re a teenager, I know you have parents that come attached. Which means that they wanna be included and know what's going on with you.
I'm a little bit different than most child therapists, in that I will help the teenager learn how to have these conversations with their parents directly.
I am not a mediator or a translator, I am a therapist.
One of the ways that I do this is by incorporating parent feedback through a variety of different ways. For my individual clients, I invite parents to a session once a quarter to talk about what's going on.
This is really great because it gives the teen practice talking about what's going on and having these icky, uncomfortable conversations in a place where their parents are ready and willing and able to listen.
And if, for some reason, it goes a little sideways, I'm there as a therapist to jump in and help out.
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Almost all the teens that I work with start off being really afraid of these meetings, because they really care about their parents having a good and positive opinion of them, which is pretty common. I mean, if you love and care about somebody, you want them to only think good things about you.
You don't wanna stress 'em out, you don't want to make them angry. You just want things to be feeling good and loving all the time.
Well, that's not realistic….
Knowing how to talk with each other when there are bumps in the road will actually help build that trust and respect that you so desperately crave from them.
Here are a few ways talking about your feelings can help:
BUILDS TRUST
Talking about your feelings helps you to build ownership and accountability.
When you are able to name, describe, and then communicate what it is that you're feeling with others, it lets others know that you acknowledge and recognize the experience that's happening, and that you are accountable and responsible for how you then work with, and respond to, that experience.
So it's basically saying that you notice and acknowledge what your emotional experience is right now, as well as the impact, whatever the intention was.
OFFERS CLARITY
Many times, when people hurt our feelings or there's misunderstanding, the intention to do harm wasn't there, at least not in the way that we think.
The majority of the time, especially when it's somebody like your parents or teacher, people who really want you to succeed and do well in life, they usually aren't meaning to do wrong by you.
So when you can talk about your feelings, and the impact of whatever their response or words or attitude had on you, and your experience, it then offers up the room for a discussion about what the intention was.
You can then clarify whether or not the impact lined up with the intention.
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HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
And what's cool is that when you talk about your feelings, you build healthy connections and relationships, which is what we all want out of life, right?
When you build up that communication and you talk about your feelings, the more that you do it, the easier it becomes. It just becomes a natural state of talking.
Tell me….
I hope that you found this information valuable and helpful and if you did, let me know in the comments over on my YouTube channel- you can click here to go to this video.
And please be sure to share this video because you never know who you could be helping in the process.
If you want to know more about how to talk to your teachers, click this link to watch a great video on this very important topic.
Want even more positive influences in your teen's life? Teen Girls Therapy Group is a weekly space where your teen girl can connect with others dealing with anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. By talking and learning together, they learn to feel better about the relationships they have with themselves and others.
If you want to secure your teen's spot- schedule your complimentary 15-min parent phone screening by completing the contact form here.
IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.
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