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Visualize Your Perfect Day Guided Journaling Meditation for Teenagers | Mindfulness with Mallory

Visualize Your Perfect Day Guided Journaling Meditation for Teenagers video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

Come journal with me in this video! Mindful Journaling is one of my favorite strategies for personal reflection.

It's one of the favorite activities we use in Teen Growth Therapy Groups, too.

Follow along with this guided journaling meditation for teens as I guide you through visualizing your perfect day.

This can be a great strategy to help you improve motivation and focus on what's important to you.

Use these journaling prompts as a guide to anchor yourself and create the life you want to live.

Your perfect day may be closer than you realize…

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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Welcome to the Visualize Your Perfect Day Guided Journaling Meditation Practice.

This is a great tool to use when you're struggling with motivation or feeling really stressed out, depressed, or overwhelmed.


You may be wondering, what's the point? Does this even matter? Which are some excellent questions to begin with.


This exercise is going to be a little bit different than some other guided meditations you may have done before. And that's because today we're going to be using Mindful Journaling.

Psst… Wanna get in on another Self-Care Secret?

*The audio for this mediation + a printable script workbook are both now part of the Self Care Bundle ✌️

// Be sure to sign up for free access when you click this link:

mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle


What's really great about using journaling as a form of meditation is that it allows you to reflect and interact physically with the prompts.

Feel free to express and interpret your responses however you'd like.

→ If you find it easier to write your responses, do that.

→ If you feel called to draw, paint, or maybe even collage your responses, do that.

→ And if you prefer to follow along as a listening and observation meditation practice, that's quite all right too.

 

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Let's start by making sure whatever journaling materials you'd like to use are nearby and get comfortable.

Remember to breathe naturally.

If it helps to close your eyes during the visualizing portions, you can do that now. And if that's too distracting, then you can keep your eyes open.

You can choose to listen to this entire meditation and then journal about your thoughts and experience at the end, or you can choose to pause the video throughout to answer each prompt as they appear.

I'm here to support whatever method is inspiring and meaningful to you.

Let's begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose and even slower out of your mouth.

Imagine…

as you go to sleep tonight that some miracle happens where all your problems no longer exist. Take a few moments to reflect on your response to hearing that. Does that bring up any feelings for you? Perhaps some excitement or maybe relief. Maybe that feels really scary and uncomfortable. There are no right or wrong responses. You might just feel neutral and that's fine too.

You Awake…

How did you wake up? Did someone gently wake you up? Did you hear your alarm? Maybe you just naturally woke up. What time is it when wake up on your perfect day? What is the first thing that you do after waking up?

Your Morning Routine…

Reflect and journal your perfect day morning routine. Don't forget to visualize other elements of this perfect day that might not entirely be in your control. Like is the sun shining? Do you hear rain tapping on the window? Are you swaying on a boat? Are you in a dorm room? Go wild.

Your Perfect Day…

 

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What are your plans for your perfect day? Are you spending time with your friends?

What are you doing? Are you going to school? What are you studying?

Who do you speak with throughout the day? And what do you talk about with them?

Are you single or in a committed relationship?

Maybe you're working at your dream job or volunteering, making a difference.

Go throughout your day and be as specific as possible. Don't worry if it's not realistic, this is your perfect day. Have fun with this.

Your Evening Routine…

It's about to be the end of your perfect day. How do you get ready for sleep? Journal your ideal perfect day's evening routine now. As you end your perfect day, what is the last thought that you have as you drift off to sleep?

Reflection…

How lovely was that? Take a few moments to reflect on your experience with this exercise. How close are you to making this perfect day a reality?

Use your journaling responses as a guide to motivate you to make one small change today that can get you one step closer to creating that perfect day.

This isn't about getting to your perfect day in one sleep, wouldn't that be great? You can make incremental upgrades over time.

You may even notice as you get closer to this day, your perfect day has changed. That's healthy to be open to new outcomes as you learn and grow.

Come back to this visualization exercise whenever you need a boost in motivation and clarify what you're working for.


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don't believe these lies about surviving high school

don't believe these lies about surviving high school video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

Surviving high school isn't like the shows + movies you've seen...

I'm looking at you High School Musical + every John Hughes movie ever!! 🤨

 

High school ends for everyone (hopefully successfully with a diploma).

 

As someone who was once a teenager (not so long ago) and works with teenagers every day- I know the truth about what it takes to survive high school.

 

Don't believe these lies and you'll be surviving high school in no time (you may even enjoy it 😬)


If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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Lie #1: these are the most important years of your life.

I have been told over and over again by several different parents and teens that I work with that they've been told, "This is the most important year of your life," going as young as third grade.

 

I'm pretty sure that colleges are not interested in going back to your third-grade experience unless you happen to mention it or you're some remarkable genius.

 

So the fact is that not every year can be the most important year. That's just ridiculous.

 

The Truth: this is one chapter of your life

High school is important. The things that you do and how you behave in high school do matter. They have an impact on your future and others in your world but it's not to say that you can never change the story or change the script in some sort of way.

 

If you find yourself in the same rut or recreating the same story or chapter over and over again, that's where meeting with a therapist can be really helpful in helping you shift gears or have a plot twist in a positive direction.

 

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Lie #2: teachers always know best

Sometimes teachers get it wrong. I've had the experience where I was quizzing somebody once on multiplication tables. And I mean, it's been a while since I've had to do those, but I know the basics, right?

 

They asked me to quiz them. And so I said, "Okay, what is eight times four?" And they said the correct answer, 32. But in my brain, I was like, "No, that's wrong, it's 28. And so I said, "False- wrong." And they were like, "No, Mallory, you're wrong." I had to pull out a calculator and realize I was wrong.

 

Teachers can be wrong.

 

The Truth: teachers are human

Teachers are not supposed to know everything just like you are not supposed to know everything. Sometimes they make mistakes.

 

Now, this is not license or encouragement for you to go up to your teacher that you have a problem with and say, "You're wrong." Please do that. That is not helpful or effective.

 

There are other ways to bring up to somebody that, "Hey, there might be a different or a better approach there."

 

We know in the therapy world that we are constantly growing and changing and evolving. And sometimes we get new information about how people work or strategies that we might try. And that's the same for your teachers too.

 

There was once a time where we used to teach people that the earth was flat and it's not. We've learned that it is round or roundish. It's definitely not flat though.

 

Just remember that even though your teachers are very smart and intelligent, they are still human and we are all learning together.

 
 

Lie #3: being popular means that you have no problems

For some reason, we have this idea that if people like us and everybody likes us that that means that everybody will listen to us, they will respect us and they will take us seriously. But that's not true.

The thing is, is that a lot of people and especially in high school, tend to confuse the idea of being popular with being powerful.

 

When it comes to people who you consider to be popular, usually people are a little afraid of them. They can be either very assertive, like their opinion really matters to them, or they might be a little aggressive.

 

So you might wanna check in on, do I actually like this person and respect them or am I afraid of them or upset with them in some sort of way? 

 

The Truth: everybody hurts

It doesn't matter if you're popular. It doesn't matter if you're smart. It doesn't matter if you've got a good heart.

 

Everybody hurts at some point in time and that's okay.

 

That's actually really healthy. We don't necessarily want you to be hurting all the time or keep it from living your life or enjoying your life.

 

It's important to experience hurt and pain sometimes because it makes us empathetic and understanding towards others. It's actually a little bit of a superpower when you think about it.

 

When we remember that everybody hurts, it can help us be a little more compassionate towards others and towards ourselves too.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT BULLIES…

Lie #4: ignore bullies and they'll stop

This is not an effective approach when you're a teenager.

 

We know that hurt people, hurt other people. If somebody is hurting and they are bullying somebody else ignoring them is probably just gonna make the situation worse because they're going to think, "I haven't gotten the response that I wanted so let me keep trying at this."

 

The Truth: ignoring bullies gives them more power

They are going to keep doing this with you because they think, "Ooh, they're an easy target. I can just like offload onto them and just move on to the next person." And that's not healthy.

 

Again, we just wanna remember that when it comes to bullying, ignoring is not gonna solve the problem. If anything, it's just gonna potentially maybe move directions to another person so you're really just kind of spreading the hate.

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Something that's much more useful and effective is using shock and awe. So when you can confuse somebody who is bullying you, it usually stops them because you've changed the story.

 

A lot of times, if somebody comes up to you and they start bullying you, or what's more common, they start texting you and bullying you that way, and you react in a surprising way, it's going to confuse them.

 

They might think you're a little weird but it's gonna stop them.

 

Some common surprising ways that you might try to stop a bully by shock and awe is to say thank you or express appreciation for their guidance.

 

This is gonna be confusing because usually, people don't expect to be thanked when they've been a jerk to us. Plus, it's really hard to argue with somebody who expresses appreciation to us.

 

You yourself might be shocked by how awesome these results are.

 

Lie #5: making friends in high school is easy

Raise your hand if you've ever been told that making friends is so easy when you're in high school.  🙋‍♀️

 

❌ It is not easy to make friends in high school at all.

 

It might be a little bit easier to make friends of circumstance or to connect with other people because you have more opportunities and possibilities there, but it definitely doesn't make it easier.

 

The Truth: making friends in high school is awkward

It's gonna be awkward because you both are trying to feel each other out and see, "Does this work for me?" You're assessing and reassessing, "Is this somebody who I like that I wanna spend more time with? And are they interested in spending more time with me?"

 

If you're looking for more strategies on how to survive high school, I really recommend that you try out the guided meditation by clicking this link here: https://youtu.be/Rt_zAzB1gCU

 

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, please share it.

You never know who YOU could be helping.


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5-Minute Guided Meditation for Surviving High School (protective colored bubble) | Mindfulness with Mallory

5-minute Guided Meditation for Surviving High School video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

This is a great meditation to use when you can't necessarily leave or change a situation and you have to continue to show up (like going to high school).

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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Welcome to this five-minute guided meditation for surviving high school. In this meditation, we're going to create a protective colored bubble that you can use in moments of high anxiety, stress, or overwhelm.


Since this guided meditation involves your imagination and visualization, you may want to try this with someone you trust, like a therapist or a parent, if you're prone to dissociate or get lost in daydreaming.


Let's start by getting comfortable in a seated position and breathe naturally.

This may be criss-cross applesauce, sitting on your heels, stretching your feet out in front of you, or even sitting down in a chair.

Psst… Wanna get in on another Self-Care Secret?

*The audio for this mediation + a printable script workbook are both now part of the Self Care Bundle ✌️

// Be sure to sign up for free access when you click this link:

mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle

 

Do what feels cozy and comfortable for you.

You can grab a pillow or a blanket to sit on if that helps you. Wrapping a blanket around your shoulders or across your lap for added support can also help you feel safe + secure during this guided meditation


If it helps to close your eyes, you can do that now. And if that's too distracting, then you can keep your eyes open.

 

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Let's begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose, and even slower out your mouth.

Notice how that feels in your body. Notice the air moving through you as you breathe.

Choose a color that feels protective for you.

This can be any coloring of your choosing. It doesn't matter if there's texture to the color, a pattern, or even if there is more than one color. What's important is that this color feels safe for you.

On your next inhale, I'd like you to imagine that color is filling you up from your heart center outward. So as you breathe in, imagine that color is entering into you and taking up space within you.

You may notice some sensations as you do this, and that's perfectly fine. If you don't, there's nothing wrong with you. That's fine too.

Everyone's experience is unique to what their body and their mind need at this moment.

There's really no wrong way to do this.

With each inhale imagine that color is expanding and filling you up more and more.

 

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It's reaching to fill your chest and your belly and now it's reaching your upper legs and thighs, your shoulders, biceps, forearms, your lower legs too.

Your neck, your feet, your hands, your entire head and face, and as it reaches and fills you up,

I want you to repeat these words along with me:

On your inhale repeat the words, I am safe, and on your exhale repeat the words, my energy protects me.

Great! Notice how you feel in your body right now at this moment. You don't need to make any effort to change it. Just notice what comes up for you.

In a few moments, I'm going to ask you to expand that color so that it moves beyond you on your next inhale.

Here we go! Let's breathe in and on that exhale allow that color to expand out so that it is now a bubble of protection around you.

With each inhale, you can visualize that color growing stronger. And with each exhale, the bubble can expand out as far as you need it to.

Some of you may want to keep your bubble nice and close to you. Others may want to expand it out so that it includes your loved ones and friends. Either choice is fine.

You may want to try this out with different variations to see what feels most comfortable for you.

In this bubble, you are protected. You are safe.

Let's breathe here together for a few moments to really solidify this feeling. You are so brave and so strong. You endure so much and you can survive high school.

When you're ready, take a deep breath in through your nose, and even slower out of your mouth.

Let's wake up your body by gently wiggling your toes and your fingers. Slowly move or stretch any body parts that may feel stiff, or needs some gentle waking up.

If your eyes have been closed, you can gently flutter them open now. I really appreciate you joining me for this five-minute guided meditation.

When you find yourself struggling to survive high school, you can return here, to help you visualize your energy protecting you.


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Got Anxiety about High School? Try these 5 coping skills for teenagers

Got High School ANXIETY? Try these 5 coping skills for teenagers video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

You shouldn’t have to choose between your school and your mental health!!

If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety about high school- try these 5 coping skills for teenagers. 

Coping with anxiety about high school before it becomes a bigger problem is possible!

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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If you prefer to read, here’s what you need to know about these 5 Coping Skills for Coping with High School Anxiety:

 
  1. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ANXIETY

Anxiety does not have a do not disturb button, which means that you can't ignore it. You've gotta acknowledge your anxiety about high school if you want to overcome it.

 

When you acknowledge your anxiety, you let it know that you hear it, you understand what it's trying to do for you, and then you get to decide what you do next about it.

 

When you try to ignore your anxiety, it usually comes out in some other really wonky or stressful way.

Sometimes our bodies and our anxiety likes to shout at us, which can lead to things like panic attacks, or emotional meltdowns.

 

So the key here is that you've gotta acknowledge it first if you wanna overcome it.

 

2. ASSESS THE RISKS

We all know that high school is risky business. It can be really overwhelming and stressful, which is why you've got to assess the risks.

 

Anxiety is just trying to let you know, be careful, wake up, pay attention, there's some potential danger or risk lurking about. It does that so that you can plan and prepare ahead.

We call this Coping Ahead.

 

So if you don't take a moment, and just kind of assess the risk level, then you're gonna be stuck in anxiety mode because your anxiety is gonna keep alerting you to every risk no matter how minor or major it is.

It's up to YOU to make a move or adjust your approach.

 

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3. CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITIES

 So for this coping strategy, I really recommend playing the "what if?" game. If you're not familiar with it, it's usually played in three separate rounds. I like to set a timer because sometimes my mind can go a little wild here, especially when I'm feeling really anxious and stressed out.

 

This is how you play the "what if?" game:

💛 Round 1: Pause and consider all the potential negative outcomes or possibilities here. You're probably already really great at this, especially if you're feeling anxious, so go wild. They don't have to be realistic. They don't have to be likely. They just wanna be any of the possible negative scenarios that could pop up for you.

💛 Round 2: Consider all of the neutral outcomes or possibilities here. So things that don't necessarily have a positive or a pleasant outcome, or a negative or uncomfortable outcome. They just kind of are.

💛 Round 3: This is where the magic happens. It's where you consider all the possible positive pleasant outcomes of this scenario. So what are some possibilities here?

 

This game can help break you out of that negative thinking cycle that anxiety likes to keep us stuck in because you might miss out on some other potential opportunities that exist in this situation.

 

So what are some possible outcomes of going to high school and participating in high school?

I know a key one that a lot of parents are thrilled about is that when you get a high school diploma, it opens up other possibilities and doors for your career choice.

 
 

4. TELL SOMEONE

If you're still feeling really anxious about high school, then you've got to tell somebody. Schools happen to have excellent resources usually when it comes to assisting with anxiety, or school anxiety in general. That's because they are really motivated for their students to perform well.

 

So if their students are able to show up and enjoy school, and get what they need from school, that's good for them too.

 

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Some people that you might wanna reach out to for support might be:

→ your parents

→ a neighbor

→ a school teacher

→ the school social worker

→ your school guidance counselor.

There are lots of possibilities here, though I do highly recommend that you reach out to a safe, responsible adult.

Because the thing is is that I know a lot of teenagers love to rely on their friends, who also happen to be teenagers going through this together, which is awesome, I'm not gonna knock that.

 

When you are a teenager, and you're relying on other teens for support, you don't always know what their capacity is for helping. And you wanna make sure that they have knowledge of all the resources available.

 

Somebody in the school system might have a little more knowledge and resource capacity than another teenager.

 

5. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness is really, really great about calling our attention and noticing when things happen, why they happen, and the patterns to our problematic circumstances, and also our positive ones too.

 

When you take a moment to practice some mindfulness, it allows you to slow down, pause, and consider what you can keep doing to continue a positive or pleasant outcome, and what you might need to change up that's in your control to shift away from an uncomfortable circumstance.

 

I know one of the most common experiences when it comes to high school anxiety is experiencing anxiety in the morning, which is why you've gotta check out my morning anxiety meditation right over here for teenagers: → https://youtu.be/-ecJXpCVR2E

Let's get ready to meditate together!

 

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, you know what to do. Go ahead and share it because you never know who YOU could be helping!


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5-Minute Morning Anxiety Meditation for Teenagers | Mindfulness Mondays with Mallory

5-minute Morning Anxiety Meditation for Teenagers video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

This 5-minute morning anxiety meditation for teenagers is part of our Mindfulness Mondays with Mallory series. Every Monday in August I'll be sharing one mindfulness activity that we can practice together.

Coping with morning anxiety can be quite difficult for teenagers because school mornings can be quite stressful already.

Allowing yourself 5 minutes to practice this guided mediation daily with me can help you cope with morning anxiety in a short, simple way.

Let's meditate together!

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

Psst- Wanna get in on another Self Care Secret?

*The audio for this mediation + a printable script workbook are both now part of the Self Care Bundle ✌️

// Be sure to sign up for free access when you click this link:

mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle

 

Welcome to this five-minute guided meditation for teenagers wanting to cope with their morning anxiety.

Be sure to sit in an upright and comfortable, yet alert position with your back flat against another surface. This could be a wall, a pillow, the back of a chair, whatever works for you, and breathe naturally.

Just be sure that you're not lying down for this meditation because we don't want you falling back asleep and then being late for school or wherever it is that you have to be after this.

By having your back flat against the surface, you're already signaling to your anxiety that you're safe from any potential danger surprising you from behind, which naturally eases our stress responses.

 

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For this guided meditation, don't worry about your breathing. If you happen to find yourself getting panicky, uncomfortable, or really needing to scratch that itch that just came to your attention, I'd love it if you could pause and observe whatever it is that you're noticing.

You might find that that urge or impulse to react and adjust moves away all on its own without any additional effort from you.

Though, if you're really uncomfortable or you really need to scratch that itch, or maybe move your foot, go for it. Listen to your body. This guided meditation is not about making you suffer.

If it helps to close your eyes and you haven't done so already, you can do that now. If that's too distracting, then keep them open.

In this guided meditation, I'm going to ask you to move your attention or awareness to different body parts as I name them. Just note the sensations that you feel, the thoughts that you have or even the emotions you experience.

If your body doesn't happen to consist of a particular part that's mentioned, or there are problematic thoughts, sensations, or feelings that pop up, you can choose to sit and notice your experience during that portion of this brief body scan or you may choose to discontinue this meditation and turn to a more helpful, different coping strategy.

As you move your attention to the parts that I mention, I'd love for you to pay particular attention to what parts of your body feel most connected and supported by where they make contact with another object or possibly even another body part. These are called your contact points and they offer a sense of stability and groundedness in your body at this moment, which is great for morning anxiety.

 

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Let's start with the top of your head. Now move your attention to your forehead, your eyes, your nose, your ears, your cheeks, your mouth, your chin. You're doing awesome.

Remember, it's okay if your mind happens to wander during this guided meditation, you can always use my voice as a guide to return to wherever we are in this process. There's no need to rewind and start over, you can start wherever you are now.

Next up, we're gonna move to your neck, your shoulders, the left and the right. You're doing great.

Now, move your attention to your chest and your belly. You might notice some movements here as you breathe, noticing in and out at whatever pace is natural for you.

Now move your attention to your upper and lower back supported by whatever you've chosen to lean against, your hips, your seat. You might notice that one side of your body feels different than the other. That's totally okay. And if they feel the same or neutral, that's quite all right too.

Your left leg and your right leg, your ankles, heels, feet, and toes. I am so proud of you.

When you're ready, take a deep breath in through your nose and even slower out of your mouth.

Let's wake up your body by gently wiggling your toes and fingers. Slowly move or stretch any body parts that may feel stiff or need some gentle waking up. If your eyes are closed, you can gently flutter them open now.

I really appreciate you joining me for this five-minute morning anxiety meditation.

Don’t forget that you can find the audio-only and printable workbook versions of this guided meditation for morning anxiety for your mindfulness practice included when you sign up for your free access to the Self Care Bundle.


IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.

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Can people Stop Self Harm for good?

Can people STOP self harm for good? Start with these 5 therapist approved strategies video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

⚠️Content Warning: This video post contains content related to Self Harm. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations. In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741. For a list of crisis numbers by country, click here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2802245?hl=en&ref_topic=9386941

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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  1. TAKE NOTICE

→ Notice your thoughts

→ Notice your feelings

→ Notice your behaviors

→ Notice your environment

 

When you can notice these four areas, you can start to notice and recognize patterns that impact your mood and your responses to your mood.

 

A really great example of this is when you look in the mirror and you happen to notice a zit, which is very common for teenagers and beyond. I get them too.

 

If when you notice that zit, your automatic thinking response is, "oh my gosh, I'm so ugly, this needs to get off my face right now." it could cause a level of intensity or urge that you have to do something to relieve that discomfort right away. Which could leave you prone or open to a self harm behavior.

 

So instead, if you know that that is a common thought response that you have that's automatic, you can catch it because you've already noticed this pattern and you can say, "wait a minute, this zit will heal on its own. I have gone to the doctor and gotten cream, I've washed my face, I know that these don't last forever," whatever it is.

 

Talking more kindly and positively to yourself to reverse the things that you are noticing if they are leading to problematic urges, thoughts, or actions.

 

2. DELAY WITH DISTRACTION

We know that our feelings and our thoughts, and even our emotional responses change over time, usually with not much effort.

 

We can totally put in the effort and action to help coax it along in the direction that we want it to go in, but it's gonna change, it always does.

 

If you can delay that initial automatic impulse to act on the urge, you're already ahead of the game.

 

Some ways that you can do this is to pop on a Netflix series or a movie that you've been wanting to watch, or even watching a playlist on YouTube, because it tends to auto-play to the next video in that series. And that can really help you delay working on the action because you're so engaged in whatever it is that you're watching.

 

❌Do not use this if you're avoiding your homework though, please.

✅If you're using this distraction skill, I really encourage you to also use a timer.

 

That way, you're not like going through the whole day like this, and when that timer is up, you're checking in and saying like, okay, has anything changed or been different, is it positive or negative, is it the direction that I want it to move in, or do I need to do something else to shift gears?

 

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3. CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Actually getting up and moving to a different seat or going to a different room or location. When we are in our room all day, that can be really overstimulating or it can just kinda keep us in a funk or a bummer mood.

 

So, try coming out of your room and spending some time in the family kitchen or the dining area or the living room, something like that. Be around other people.

 

Clearing and changing your physical environment can actually help clear and change your thinking as well.

→ You can take some time to actually fold and put away your laundry.

→ You can declutter or organize an area of your room or your bag.

 

There's a reason why a lot of those home organizing and cleaning shows tend to ask the people that they're helping about their emotional experiences, 'cause oftentimes it comes out in the room. 

 

4. BUDDY UP

Calling on a friend or a loved one or someone else that is supportive to help buddy up can be really helpful when you're looking to stop self-harm.

 

That's because, oftentimes, people who self-harm tend to feel really isolated and alone, or they're around other people who kind of encourage this harmful behavior.

 

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Changing up who's in your circle and who else can be supportive can be really useful and helpful.

I love running my Teen Growth Therapy Groups for this very reason.

We tend to have a lot of people in the groups who have struggled with self-harm or know others in their world who have struggled with self-harm.

So they get it from a different experience than somebody who's only known about it from TV and movies and books, or maybe that one weird health class that your gym teacher like spent a good like 10 minutes talking about it. I have such issues with that, but... they mean well.

If you're continuing to struggle, even with a buddy in the process, I really encourage you to link up with a mental health therapist who is trained and specialized to deal with these concerns and issues.

 

5. STAY KIND

This healing process is really hard, it's really exhausting. Whenever you're trying to make a healthy or positive change, it still is a change.

 

So it's gonna take time, it's gonna take energy, it's gonna take effort, and sometimes, it might even take a financial investment to get the help and support that you need.

 

Remember that every step and move that you make is one more building block into that house that you're building for yourself. It doesn't mean that that one piece or that one brick or that one wall isn't enough. It's just part of the process.

 

One of the ways that you can start to be kind to yourself is by engaging in LovingKindness meditation. I actually have one that you can check out when you click the link right over here: → https://youtu.be/36LaRhCIm6g

 

We're trying Mindfulness Mondays this month.

So please let me know if you like this and if you'd like to see it continue.

 

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, please share it because you never knew who YOU could be helping.


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LovingKindness Guided Meditation for Teenagers | Mindfulness Mondays with Mallory

LovingKindness Guided Meditation for Teenagers - a mindfulness practice video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

This LovingKindess Guided Mediation for Teenagers is the first in a new series called Mindfulness Mondays with Mallory.

Every Monday for the month of August I’ll be sharing a new guided mindfulness practice that we can do together.

Let's meditate together!

Follow along with this guided meditation if you are desiring better self-esteem, less anger, and better relationships with the people around you.

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

 

Psst- Wanna get in on another Self-Care Secret?

*The audio for this mediation + a printable script workbook are both now part of the Self Care Bundle ✌️

// Be sure to sign up for free access when you click this link:

mallorygrimste.com/selfcarebundle

 

This is a great short and simple guided meditation for teenagers:

LovingKindness meditation, or metta bhavana, comes from a Buddhist tradition of cultivating compassion and love for yourself and others.

 

Sit in a comfortable position, though make sure it's not a sleepy position. You may close your eyes or keep them open in half-moon gaze. Breathe naturally.

 

Pay attention to the middle of your chest area where your heart is. Repeat gently to yourself, feeling the words, "Love, love, love. May my heart be filled with love."

Notice the feeling of love throughout your whole body and repeat silently to yourself:

 → May I be happy.

 → May I be safe.

 → May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May I give and receive appreciation today.

 

Next, bring to mind someone you like a lot and respect. This may be a parent, a sibling, a friend, a teacher, anyone of your choosing.

Send these feelings of warmth and caring as you wish them well:

 → May you be happy.

 → May you be safe.

 → May you be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May you give and receive appreciation today.

 

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Next, we'll repeat this step with somebody who you feel neutral about. This could be a classmate or someone that you see in the hallway.

As you think of them, send these feelings of warmth and caring as you wish them well.

 → May you be happy.

 → May you be safe.

 → May you be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May you give and receive appreciation today.

 

We're gonna repeat this again. This time with someone who you became irritated with recently. This is not the time to go to someone who has been very hurtful towards you. Just a minor irritation.

As you think of them, send these feelings of warmth and caring as you wish them well.

 → May you be happy.

 → May you be safe.

 → May you be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May you give and receive appreciation today.

If you wish, bring to mind someone who has hurt you in the past and go ahead and repeat these words. You may not wish to do this early in your practice of LovingKindness.

Know that you are not approving or accepting of what they have done. You are simply allowing yourself to let the pain and anger that you carry towards them go, as this hurts you more than anyone else.

 

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If you prefer to skip this portion, you may focus on anyone else of your choosing.

Whoever you decided to choose to focus on as you think of them, send these feelings of warmth and caring as you wish them well.

 → May you be happy.

 → May you be safe.

 → May you be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May you give and receive appreciation today.

Radiate this warmth and love to the people around you. Send these same feelings of warmth and caring to anyone within your location and beyond.

 → May you all be happy.

 → May you all be safe.

 → May you all be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May you all give and receive appreciation today.

 

Now, since we've gone ahead and we felt these LovingKindness feelings towards ourselves and others, we're gonna turn it inward to ourselves one more time, because we could all use a little extra support and love and care.

So, as you notice these feelings of love throughout your whole body, repeat silently to yourself.

 → May I be happy.

 → May I be safe.

 → May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong.

 → May I give and receive appreciation today.

 

When you're ready, take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale slowly out of your mouth. And if your eyes were closed, go ahead and open them now.

 

Thank you so much for joining me on this LovingKindness guided meditation. I can't wait to see you back here for more!


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Self Harm Alternatives: 5 therapist-approved coping skills for teenagers

⚠️CW: This video post contains content related to Self Harm. | Self Harm Alternatives: 5 therapist-approved coping skills for teenagers video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

⚠️ Content Warning: This video contains content related to Self Harm. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations.

In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741.

For a list of crisis numbers by country, click here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2802245?hl=en&ref_topic=9386941

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

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If you prefer to read,

this is what you need to know about these 5 therapist-approved coping skills for teenagers as self harm alternatives:

 

1. Let's Get Physical! 🏋️‍♀️

Getting physical is really awesome because oftentimes when we are struggling with an urge to self harm, or we've already engaged in a self harm behavior, it's because our physical responses to our emotional or perceptive experiences are kind of going a little haywirey and out of control.

 

We've got to discharge all those physical responses and energy in a healthier way.

 

🤸‍♀️ You can get physical by moving your body through exercise, dancing, stretching, or walking around.

🧘‍♀️ You can also engage your physical sensations using self-soothing strategies (focusing on one or more of your five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, or physical touch).

 

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2. Change Your Environment 🏚

Our environment gives us behavioral or reminder cues of what's to come next. It's one of the reasons why they say that if you want to get into working out when you first wake up to put your gym bag and gym clothes right next to your bed.

It's right there, it's easy to use. And then you can remember like, "Oh yeah, I wanted to do that."

 

Planning out your environment in a way that will limit or eliminate your access to any of the tools that you usually use for self-harm, or reminders that could trigger self-harm urges or behaviors will make a huge, huge difference.

 

One of the easiest ways that you can do that is to actually hand them over to a trusted person, like a family member.

 

I know that feels a little unsettling because if you don't have your tools, what will you do when you get that urge? I hope you use one of these coping skills instead.

 

So just changing your environment or your access to some of these reminders or tools is not going to necessarily make the urge go away but it could help limit or eliminate your acting on that urge.

 

When you can sit and move through the discomfort, and not have to do anything, this can reinforce the idea that the intensity of your response will change on its own over time. It's really cool.

 

Another way that you can change up your environment is you can also incorporate different coping skills or strategies around your room. That way if you need any strategies or tools for healthier coping strategies, you'll have them handy nearby.

 

3. Buddy Up 👯‍♂️

Having a friend, whether they are an accountability partner or just somebody who is there to vent to for additional support and encouragement can be really useful and helpful.

It's one of the reasons why I love running my Teen Growth Therapy Groups because when you know that you are not alone and other people are in the struggle with you, it can be really motivating and encouraging.

 

When I was just graduated from grad school, I did a program called "Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction". Prior to that, I had a really difficult time trying to meditate. I just couldn't sit still, my mind would go bonkers, I totally thought that I was doing it wrong.

 

Being in that group setting, with other people who were going through learning about this and using it for themselves totally changed and shifted my experience and perspective with this.

 

Engaging in some sort of group therapy or another social group can be really encouraging and helpful for you, too.

 
 

4. Keep Talking 🗣

It's really, really easy to feel really discouraged and demotivated, (and maybe even ashamed) when we are trying healthier alternatives to self-harm if we slip up along the way.

 

 
 

This isn't meant to be an excuse or a reason to self-harm, but if you happen to have a slip-up, I want you to keep talking to others for that additional support.

 

The more that you can talk about it and get helpful support and feedback, the better your journey will be because you'll start to realize that you have it in you already.

 

You may just need some habit building, and maybe some encouragement and support from others.

 

And you're not going to get that without talking about it with other people.

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5. Time Out ⏱

And if all else fails, one of the best things that you can do is to actually just take a time out.

 

So remember when you were like a young child and you'd get in trouble, or you were having kind of like an emotional outburst or something? It's really common for a parent, a caregiver, a teacher, somebody like that to put that kid into a time out.

 

Time-outs can help the emotion or the outburst move through the person in a safe environment where they're not going to inflict more harm or danger on themselves or others.

 

And then once they are settled, they can come back and either problem-solve or resume whatever activity they were doing and just keep it moving.

 

So taking a time out like that for yourself whenever you're experiencing an urge to self-harm, can help you hang in there while that feeling decreases on its own.

 

You can literally set a timer and say, "Okay, I'm having this urge. I really want to act on it right now, but I'm going to set this timer and I'm going to do this other activity." Or, "I'm going to sit here. Maybe I'll take a nap."

 

After that timer goes off, if you still want to self-harm then maybe it's time to consider another coping strategy, or just see if it shifted or changed a little bit.

 

When you can get into the habit of delaying acting on the urge, you're going to build up those other coping skills and healthy alternatives that can work just as useful as self-harm can for that relief.

 

It does take a little more effort to retrain your brain to structure it that way. But once you do it should get easier the more and more that you do this.

 

If you're looking for even more helpful self harm alternatives, that aren't necessarily a distraction you can check out the videos in this playlist Guided Self Help for Self-Harming Teens:

Click here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiLAumV7icFGTOtTc5eCM8QfPr17rN5S-

 

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, please share it. 

You never know who YOU could be helping!!


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STOP saying these 5 harmful things to teens who self harm (+ helpful alternatives)

STOP saying these 5 harmful things to teens who self harm (+ helpful alternatives) video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

Let's all agree to STOP saying these 5 harmful things to teens who struggle with self-harm behaviors and urges.

Don't worry- I'm also including helpful alternatives you can say for each one instead if you'd like to help them find healthy alternatives to self-harm.

*Content Warning: This video contains content related to Self Harm. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations. In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741.

For a list of crisis numbers by country, click here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/2802245?hl=en&ref_topic=9386941

If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

 

I know that you're just trying to be useful and helpful.

You may think that you're being motivating and kind with these words, but there is a better way and I'm here to tell you how. And don't worry, I won't leave you hanging I'm gonna share some helpful alternatives as well.

 

Here’s are the 5 harmful things you need to STOP saying to teens who self-harm

(and helpful alternatives you can say instead):

1. People don't self-harm because it's cool.

"Nobody thinks it's cool that you're doing that."

People might start self-harming because they're curious and they're looking for other ways to feel better, but that doesn't mean that they're doing it because it's cool or it's a fad or it's fashionable.

 

Try this helpful alternative instead:

✅ "Hey, can I share some of my coping skills with you?"

That's really awesome because they're probably searching up ways to feel better or to release some sort of intense emotional energy.

 

So if you can share with them some healthier or helpful coping strategies or skills that work for you, you might be able to help them replace that self-harm behavior with something that's healthier.

2. What's so bad about wanting some attention?

❌ "you're just doing it for attention"

I don't know when attention got such a bad rap or why it's so wrong to want attention. care and consideration from other people 'cause that's really what we mean when we say that.

 

A helpful alternative you can say instead is:

✅ "I'm here for you"

The reason why that is such a better, more helpful alternative is that oftentimes when people are doing things that historically we would have called "attention-seeking behavior," it's really about seeking connections with other people.

 

So if you can establish with them that you are here for them, that you aren't going anywhere, that you want to invest in this relationship whether it is a friendship, it's a parent-child relationship, a teacher-student. Whatever the relationship is- just letting them know that you're there for them and be really clear, direct, and intentional with the ways that you can show up and be there for them.

 

So I think you all know by now that I am a therapist that's licensed to practice with people who are physically located in the states of Connecticut and New York. I wish it was different, but I don't make the licensing laws, sorry!

 

So you can imagine that I am somebody who is a resource for many people: all of my active clients and all the personal relationships in my own world and life. I have to be really intentional with letting people know what my capacity and limits are for being available because if I'm in session with a client and somebody else is needing my help and support, I'm not gonna be able to answer the phone during that session.

So what I do is that I give alternative resources as well for when I'm not available. And I'm very clear that I'm not available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I don't think that's healthy for anybody especially when you're supporting a friend who's struggling with something like self-harm. YouTube actually put together a wonderful resource of crisis supports by country, that I include already in each video's description.

 

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3. This is nonsense:

"No boy is ever gonna like you with scars like that"

First of all, it's really presumptuous in assuming that that person is interested in a particular gender. Please don't do that unless somebody has specifically told you that.

 

Besides that though when it comes to engaging in self-harm, there's often a layer of upset or shame already. Those scars might be meaningful or purposeful to the person who is self-harming, but they might also bring up more memories of shame.

 

So when you then also layer it with the idea that somebody could not love them or care for them when they are engaging in this sort of behavior, you're reinforcing all those reasons that probably lead them to self-harm in the first place.

 

I will also add there are plenty of examples of people who have recovered from self-harm and have gone on to healthy and successful romantic relationships and friendships. So it's nonsense anyway.

Instead, try saying this helpful alternative:

"ooh ouch, have you tried using Bacitracin or Neosporin on those?"

What's great about this is you're acknowledging that it is an ouch. It is an injury, whether it was self-inflicted or not. The fact is it's that there is a wound there that needs to be healed.

 

Offering some healthy alternatives as a question, not a direction, but as a question, leads the other person to understand and interpret that you care about their health and wellbeing. Which is pretty cool and probably what you're trying to communicate anyway, right!?

 
 

 4. You can be grateful AND still feel deep pain at the same time.

❌ " I don't understand. You have so much in your life to be happy about."

Most people who self-harm or self-injure actually express a lot of appreciation and gratitude for the things that are great about their lives.

They can totally acknowledge that and still feel intense, deep pain or hurt or just discomfort which can lead to self-harm behavior.

 

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Because we tend to live in this very binary thinking kind of a world (which isn't useful and is not realistic) we grow up with these books and ideas that say things like:

  • "it must up or it must be down"

  • "it must be left or it must be right"

So getting stuck in this toxic either/or dynamic that you must express gratitude or you must experience pain, isn't useful or helpful because it's just not realistic.

 

You can have multiple moods and multiple feelings and emotions at any point in time.

 

By relating back to not understanding they could also be grateful is already assuming that they're not grateful, (which they probably are) and it feeds into that binary thinking of "it must be this, it must be that" which feels horribly invalidating.

 

Instead, a more helpful alternative would be to say:

"You must really be struggling right now."

What's nice about that is you're expressing care and concern and acknowledging that they're really struggling.

 

You can also boost that and follow it up with a:

🌟 " I'd love to hear more about what you're going through."

Please don't say that though, if you're really not interested because then you can just reinforce that negative experience for them.

 

Oftentimes a lot of these kids and people who struggle with self-harm think that they have to go it alone, that nobody is interested, that nobody could possibly care.

 

Showing care, attention, and concern can be really healing for their own healing process as well.

 

5. THIS IS THE WORST! 🙈

"Whoa, you must be crazy!"

First of all, most people aren't crazy. Most people are doing the best that they can to cope and survive whatever struggles or stress that they're going through.

 

Please don't call people crazy in a negative way. It's horribly cruel, it's horribly unkind.

 

If you're saying like, "wow, you must be crazy, like crazy fun." I'm all for that. But saying somebody's crazy as a negative stereotype just reinforces all that shame that we talked about before and you don't wanna be doing that.

 

❌ Also showing extreme shock, like "whoa!" or "WOW!" is also not cool.

Most people who self-harm again, don't always feel great about it by showing shock and awe like that, you're actually reinforcing that they need to hide who they are and what they're struggling with rather than reaching out for help and support.

 

So something better you can say instead is:

"Hey, have you considered talking to a therapist about that? They can really help."

What's lovely about this is that most mental health therapists are trained to support people who are struggling with self-harm and self-injury. I happen to be somebody who specializes in this area but if they're not, they can often help link you up with a therapist who is.

 

>> I have seen people recover from self-harm over and over again!! <<

I'm not saying that therapy is the end-all and be-all. I happen to be trained as a therapist and so that's the style that I help support people with. You want to offer them some specialized professional care or support if they're struggling that much.

 

If they happen to already be working with an awesome therapist, or you're just looking for other ways to support your friends who self-harm, I highly recommend that you watch this video next: https://youtu.be/7LRBvFdTOUQ

 If you found the information in this video post useful and helpful, you know what to do, go ahead and share it.

You never know who YOU could be helping when you do!


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WARNING!! 5 Dangerous Coping Skills Teenagers need to watch out for

Watch out for these 5 dangerous coping skills for teenagers. If you're not careful, these coping skills could become very very dangerous for teens who struggle to cope with depression, self-harm, anxiety, or even suicidal thinking. WARNING!! These 5 coping skills can become very very dangerous video post from Mallory Grimste, LCSW (counseling for people physically located in CT + NY).

If you're not careful, these coping skills could become very very dangerous for teens who struggle to cope with depression, self-harm, anxiety, or even suicidal thinking.

 

Dangerous coping skills don't always start out dangerous- in fact, they can be quite useful to many.

 

Since coping skills are so personal, it's important to notice their impact on your mood and ask yourself this question:

"Is this coping skill helping or hurting?"

You can use this question to assess and adjust your coping skills if you need to find alternatives to self-harm, depressed mood, or anxiety attacks as needed.

⚠️ Content Warning: This video contains content related to Self Harm. Please take the appropriate steps to protect your mental health + expectations. In the US you can text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741.


If you prefer to watch the video, click this image here:

🔔Subscribe here for MORE videos that help teens struggling with mental health: mallorygrimste.com/youtube

 

More of a Reader?

here’s what you need to know about these 5 dangerous coping skills you need to watch out for:

🎶 MUSIC

Usually, we talk about music as one of the most universal coping skills that we recommend and suggest to people.

But the thing is, you've got to pay attention to how music is impacting your mood.

 

So whether that is listening to music, creating music, enjoying it, all of the above- you just need to check in and ask yourself: is this helping, or is this hurting my mood?

 

There was a study a few years ago, found that music was a coping skill that could either be really useful and helpful for people with depression, or it could be really harmful.

Now, I know that sounds totally inconclusive, but let me break it down for you:

✅ People who listen to music when they were feeling depressed and they felt a connection, a community that they weren't alone, that other people knew what they were feeling and had similar experiences, found that listening to music actually helped boost their mood and lifted how they were feeling out of that depression.

 

❌ When people who were depressed listened to music and they found themselves ruminating. overthinking, or considering over and over again all the reasons that they were depressed, actually caused them to become more depressed.

 

🚗 DRIVING

When it comes to driving, it can be a really, really great coping skill because it can help you move locations.

It can even potentially help you focus on other things rather than thinking, and thinking, and thinking because you have to concentrate on driving.

 

But it can get a little dangerous if you're not careful:

😤 If you are somebody who is prone to anger

😶‍🌫️ If you are somebody who is prone to dissociating or daydreaming

🤩 If you are somebody who is easily distracted

then driving is probably not the healthiest go-to coping skill for you unless you are driving as a passenger. And then you wouldn't be driving, you would be riding, but that's a different story.

 

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This next coping skill can be a little controversial because there is a ton of emotion around it.

🌮 FOOD

When it comes to food, we can't avoid it. We need it to live and survive as people.

Food tends to be a natural gathering for families, communities, friends, whenever we are celebrating something good that has happened to us or in our world. It can even potentially bring us great joy!

 

But the thing is when it comes to food, sometimes it can get into the danger category:

🧮 If you find yourself counting calories

🥦 If you find yourself consumed with what types of food you're eating

⏰ If you are tied to the time when you can and cannot eat, that could be potentially dangerous.

 

Now, I am NOT a registered dietician or nutritionist. I am not here to give you advice or counseling on food. But what I will tell you is to check in with what feels good and right for your body.

And if you are having trouble with that, that's where working with a therapist and a registered dietician can really be useful.

 
 

🧘‍♀️ MEDITATING

I know you might be a little surprised because I talk about meditating and mindfulness as being super useful for a variety of conditions and circumstances and symptoms, and that is true. There's a lot of research and science behind that.

 

 

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What a lot of these meditation and mindfulness teachers don't tell you is that it can get a little dangerous if you're not careful:

😱 If you're somebody who has undergone something really traumatic

🤸‍♀️ If you are somebody who has a hard time thinking and sitting still

💭 If you are somebody who is prone to dissociate or daydream

then meditating might not be a healthy coping skill for you.

I HATE it when I hear people say:

"But everybody can benefit from meditation."

No, no. I have seen it live in person. I have experienced it. It's not true.

You need to check in on what feels good and right for you or make some modifications or adaptations to how you engage with this coping skill.

 

So if you are not sure if meditating is useful and helpful for you, you might wanna do it with somebody else who can help observe and monitor.

 

✍️ DRAWING ON SELF

This coping skill makes me cringe because so many people recommend it, especially when it comes to coping with self-harm urges or behaviors.

I actively encourage all of my clients to NOT rely on this coping skill.

 

Drawing on yourself can be so harmful because it's literally training your brain to associate those visual cues with self-harm. And so you're not really retraining your brain to think differently and experience those urges differently. You're literally reinforcing that same concept.

 

→ I would highly recommend if you are somebody who struggles with self-harm urges and you're looking for alternatives to self-harm to check out this video for healthier coping options: https://youtu.be/tu6F6QIL6ww

 

If you found the information in this video useful and helpful, please share it.

You never know who YOU could be helping.


IF YOU ARE CONCERNED THAT YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, MAY BE CONSIDERING KILLING THEMSELVES, PLEASE CONNECT THEM WITH HELP.

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